have you ever seen a person who grew up in a city and has spent 99.99% of their time on this earth in a city navigate walking around a suburb? bro they just walk into oncoming traffic while talking to you over their shoulder lmao
lately I am addicted to saying dawg
when will Instagram add the clutchest feature from fb back in the day: a notification when it’s your friend’s birthday
for posterity: this did not happen & what actually convinced me to watch an entire Super Bowl was my love of gambling (downloaded draft kings) (would’ve won 5,000 dollars if a some random mad had scored a touch down)
god i wish i was 28 in the blog era… i have a blog in me im a blog bitch
this is very very low on the list of priorities of bad things going on in the world but may I just say: the vibes are atrocious rn
dude in the gas station got my attention to tell me “Hannah Montana…. Miley cirus”
i want to go on a yoga meditation retreat and I’m tired of pretending like i don’t
hbo girls came to me when I needed it. like reading a great American novel when ur a teenager. hbo girls at 28 is my catcher in the rye at 13
2 notes from dystopia today:
-the headphones I ordered online are both wired and blue tooth for some unknown reason and they act so weird that I’m questioning if they’re giving my phone a virus or spyware
- saw a self driving uber eats delivery robot just driving itself down the sidewalk
lately I feel like I’ve got my mini skirt and my roller blades on #lifessofunlifessofun
men love pants soooooo much
women in my life love to send me pics of their bruises
the bf of one of my best friends recently revealed that she was under the impression that Oasis is midwest emo. These are the bonuses you get when ur friends are in loving relationships.. double the making fun of them
shopping on ssense feels like Sims
True detective s1 is one long ad for beer and their advertising methods are extremely effective on me
