Laura

🐦 🎶 WHO UP PERCHING ON THEIR TREE 😏

hearing a bird do its spring call, and thinking aw, they're thirstposting 😊

me, when i deleted my mastodon account:

lrt: knew a guy who wore that hat in school. on a school trip he took a walkie talkie and patched himself into security's frequency and shouted random shit including 'heil hitler'. i heard of him 20 years later, he'd become principal of a school in north dakota and was in prison for burning it down

Weird floppy fisherman hat as seen on guys who post in review forums for Thailand brothels

Guys in hats that look like this are all wanted by Interpol

me (being thrown out of the consulate): hey i READ the instructions and it says for passport photos you can't wear glasses or hats or scarves but fucking SHOW me where it says you can't have a suction-cup dildo attached to your forehead

have consulted photographic evidence and concluded that as a matter of record i am objectively hot so dysphoria can eat me k

allowing myself to post this contentedly after dysphoriaposting earlier this week

being a woman is great. you can have things that bother you about your body, but every woman has that. and take the time to put it all together, the little things you don't like count less and less, and the good ones count all the more

sabato è per i t a l o d i s c o

my photos library is like: books, food, cool place, books, random thing i need to remember, selfies, books, train, erotic selfies, food

ra-ra-rasputin, lover of the russian queen: chaser? y/n

friends fear she is abusing ginger shots

if I'd put ant effort into how i look I'd be like 'yeah u dam wel kno I'm hot 💅 😎' but this way it's more like 'aww bless are you that desperate'

the thing that amazes me still after all these years is being able to go out unwashed, no makeup, hair like a bird's nest, and not only get gendered female but have guys checking you out?

it's not 'correcting your latin' it's 'gerund-affirming care'

yeah michfest has basically fallen off the edge of the relevance horizon now, particularly given everything that's happened since, but it seemed quite a deeply engrained part of the lore, at least if you're even the tail-end of the generation who read imogen binnie and julia serrano

these days i'm sometimes worried about how my middle name being that of a sixth-century ostrogothic queen might strike people as clocky but no one has ever commented on it

garden noem

we're allowed to like bikini kill now? i like this but it requires adjustment

my dad is one year younger, when young was anti-vietnam, anti-nixon, etc but carter seems to be the thing that snapped his political brain and flipped him and which he was harking back to 20, 30 years later as a national catastrophe that still needed to be undone

maybe that was a vorarlberg accent? that's like the final boss of austrian regional accents, even austrians don't understand it

i've lived in this country for 8 years and i'm pretty good at austrian german and can slip into it myself fairly effectively but once in a while i end up taking to someone where i just end up having to guess, smile and nod

ahhhhhh t4ttttt lol

what they never tell you: all of his marriages were t4t except catherine of aragon

henry viii had demonic transmasc energy

rare book collectors can be weird (positive), weird (neutral) or weird (pejorative), but people who collect bibles are always the last

this crossed my mind because i just saw a book with measurements described in inches and i had to convert in my head like 'huh, so that's... over two dicks'

having grown up in the us and moved to europe 21 years ago i have switched all my accustomed measurements to metric aside from dicks. they are probably the only thing i think of in inches, probably as i have not had so much engagement with them and never bother to listen to the dick forecast

lol labelled as adult it's a biblical woodcut from 1540