Had to scroll back up 20 or so posts so I could like this after I understood what you were going for.

Squeezing the alcohol out of the lens cleaning wipes directly into my mouth to Quench the Thirst

i'm like the suicidal mr. rogers

what if i filled a paintball gun w/ cheese balls? would you open your mouth like a little slut?

And the Michelin Man removed the tire from his waist and gave it to them, saying, “Take this and drive; for this is my body.”

Ranking my friends by vulnerability

eating on a giant cabbage like a rat beast