Andy Ryan

Me: I'm an expert at identifying birds
Her: What about those ones flying over there?
Me: Yup, all birds

People get jailed for witness intimidation. Next to zero chance that'll happen to Trump, so if anything he's getting special treatment in a positive way.

Venn of the day

I breed racing deer – just trying to make a quick buck

[restaurant]
WAITER: here’s your check
ME: can we split it
WAITER: yes of course
DATE: *reaches for card*
ME: no it’s cool me and the waiter got this