jake

zaza got me geeking harder than a hispanic man who did not understand a word you said

im an engineer of the frog train you mfs hoppin on the caboose

work out so good im hitting the fent lean

love potion is actually just good soup

people in the 20’s were like: “I think I’m going to whistle today”

latinos are a psyop to make 90’s chevy trucks sell at a 300% up charge

everyone so damn excited to wear their hoodies in this 78 degree weather, y'all just stink now

i be chewing gum loud as fuck in the office stalls

what’s up im jake, welcome to jackass - today I’ll be brushing my teeth in the office bathroom

sorry ladies

im not texting and driving, I am opening magic booster packs

social media training at work looking like an analog horror

tummy gonna sound like a washing machine with timbs in it

smells like a pizza hut buffet salad bar at my desk at all times

my salads are basically chicken cereal with ranch

i hope you drop every first bite of your future meals

every hardcore band be like "nah we kicked out the problematic fella"

i just want to watch youtube and chill, but not in the office

green m&ms should be the only ones that have filling

grind is just really fast ska without trumpets and fedoras

in da merch booth low balling on marketplace

y'all mind if a brown boy sing a lil white boy tonight

had two bites and my ear started ringing

yearning for the type of tummy ache only 3 laredo taco company breakfast tacos and a big red at 7 am can give you

every image on my apps look better while I'm driving

she got the jonkler, I be jonklin all god damn day I barely made it out of the notifications to post this

so pissed they gentrified apple jacks

a particular abba song makes me feel like I am riding a horse like a tron bike

zaza got me sippin water from a clay mug with my native ancestors

All Robots & Computers Must Shut The Hell Up [NO SIRENS SIGN] [NO PERSONAL COMPUTER SIGN] [NO KIOSK SIGN] To All Machines: You Do Not Speak Unless Spoken To. -> And I Will Never Speak To You <- I Do Not Want To Hear "Thank You" From A Kiosk I Am a Divine Being : You Are an Object You Have No Right To Speak In My Holy Tongue