to find out who your real friends are, become an insufferable monomaniac and see who still hits you up these days knowing you're gonna need to talk about that same shit over and over. also a good way to find out if you need to go back to therapy
Unfortunately the only way to listen to my weekly show is to be arrested and put in prison, which I wouldn't recommend! But if you search "scout Bolton" on BBC Sounds there'll be a few things that come up :)
Covid day 3: still running a fever BUT have rediscovered Desperate Housewives on Disney+ !!! I loved this show at the time but I get what it's *doing* now and I love it even more
okay so i managed to clean all the dye off the bath but my bath mat is now bright purple which is, as Bob Ross would say, a hhhhhhappy accident
They go to bed with Gilda and wake up with me
I got doctor certified covid btw so you all have to be so nice to me. I've been taken down in my prime. I wish I were a girl again, half savage, hardy and free. You have to open the window Nelly, let me get one breath of it
Take the bins out. Go food shopping. Collect prescription. Now it's bin day again. Which bin though. Accidentally forgot prescription. Okay got it. Ok now they've added a new bin to events. It is purple. It is for your sad thoughts. Go food shopping. Now it's Christmas and you forgot ELF ON A FUCKI
Recorded a special show last week to keep in the archives, made a joke about "if you're listening to this it means I've been taken back to bed by my agonies" and then contracted covid a comedically short time later
"They're like... imagine they're ghosts haunting you from a past that never happened. Imagine the space age has been and gone and you miss it. And Broadcast are letting you be nostalgic for that. And for the future, which may or may not exist. Also, so like you know Modernism? Okay, so in 1890..."
playing anything by Broadcast on my show is delightful because I adore them, but then I have to try and describe them as I introduce them, and it always comes down to, "I dunno man youv'e just gotta listen to them and then something will click and you'll get it, but I cannot explain it"
i really don't need Dropbox to be down now that it's 3:44am which for me is the middle of the fiscal day
All Fours by Miranda July was transformative for me. It validated so many things, made sense of an ever confusing world.
I've decided to get the living fuck over it, once and for all. There, I've declared it now, so it's real. Just like bankruptcy or war
I asked my tarot cards to tell me what the hell is wrong with me and it told me I have "shiny object syndrome" (according to various interpretations)
yeah yeah yeah it's all very well and good becoming a *darling* but do you know how many velvet turbans i now have to own
Gus played a piece of music on the organ this evening that he wrote, it was called "Trip to Chicago, Cold Weather: You Have Already Packed Everything" and it did just sound like that, it really really did
Do we all agree, after watching the Netflix doco about America's Next Top Model, that the woman who "got drunk and cheated on her boyfriend" was in fact raped? Like we can all see that plain as day right
Christian Brothers by Heatmiser is up there
My new book, coming out early next year, is me basically putting my schizoaffective disorder to work. If it's going to say shit about me and make me feel weird then it's about time it started paying rent. Write a book for me, you utter dickhead. Earn your keep.
THE WORST THING IS THAT PEOPLE ARE MAKING AI EPSTEIN FILES when the real ones are already so fucking shocking and appalling? Is that not enough for you guys? You're thirsty for even worse pedo content than before and you want to spread misinformation? Fucking why? Are you on glue?!
I showed my friend a selfie I took when in London for work the other day, and he said, "you're serving a full buffet of cunt". And once upon a time I'd have been appalled. But he's right. That look was so cunty
Am I having my Elliott Hour right now? Well I'm glad you asked. It's the *key changes* in fact. Shine on me baby, cause it's raining in my heart 🎵
Better than any musician, you think I meant. No
Coming back to say this happened beautifully this morning at 7:30am, Baruch HaShem
I have to return some videotapes
Elliott Smith will sing and play the most angelic harmonious melodies and delicately fingerpicked 12 string guitar like a lute and sing: "had a dream as an army man with an order just to march in my place / while a dead enemy screams in my face" - and this is why he is better than anything else
i really wish i'd got to hear you say more!
a motivational fridge magnet that says "silence your harsh inner commissioning editor" in cursive
PRETEND you are a commissioning editor for a large journalism platform by getting a substack, thereby having many good ideas for articles, but then pitching them to yourself, and ultimately telling yourself there's really no point in actually writing it because you'd never publish it anyway
Today my six year old said to me, "owls don't make a nice noise. Actually the noise they make at night is horrifying"
