Can someone show me how to be normal before I send a letter to every member of **** *******

I’m going to take this opportunity to watch every video possible about the bass in hopes to rewire my brain

Me: *Tests positive for Covid*
Also me: I need a damn cigarette

It is something that hopped from my nose to my throat n I wanna……..

Is it sick or is it the sudden temperature change. Stay tuned

My only enemy is the lady who hangs out in the bathroom at work

Jk :)

I’m going to start carrying a gun

The next car that stops to let me cross on the crosswalk is gonna get $100 cold hard cash. By the end of the year I will have distributed $0

My favorite part of every work day is when my coworker comes in and turns off the fan and I start sweating my dick and balls off

I love Chicago but there is a special place in hell for everybody driving up and down Pulaski from 8-9 AM

I know people directly affected are calling for these strikes, but it just doesn’t work ok! I’ve been saying this for five years instead of organizing in my community

Here’s how a strike should actually be organized. Not that I would know because general strikes don’t work. No I won’t offer actions to take or allow comments discussing the contrary. Here’s a link to my substack and a link to buy my book

Saw a city bus getting towed on my way home from work. Happy arctic air day everyone

Me pitching reverse cowgirl to Simon: “Because the normal version is fun for us…right?”

My question for the world is: can anything fucking work out for once

Don’t ever feel bad if u don’t work out for a few weeks because when you come back to it you will realize you can still do pushups and that is badass

I figured it out. I am the king of css

I remember the good old days where u could drag and drop files onto an sd card and put it in the player. Bring that back. Maybe I got a super complicated one

Trying to build a website and figure out an mp3 player reminds me that any technology-related hobbies make me want to bash my head in

Experiencing a lot of anxiety and flashbacks the past couple days I’m fully convinced I’m gonna keel over soon

The way I look at processed foods like I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life

Today I am doing the unthinkable (wearing a different pair of jeans)

Upstairs neighbor be like: girlfriend is gone, time to yell at video game

Everyone at work is sick hehe haha 👁️👄👁️

Trying something out called “make tomorrow’s lunch right when you get home from work” so I don’t feel like I have a massive chore to do before I go to sleep

Craving a pickle only a Culver’s butterburger deluxe could provide

I left a bowl for you on my windowsill w the window cracked open

Having a very “everything but the kitchen sink” moment for dinner tonight. Cheese board w a roasted tomato dip. Beet and potato soup w celery, shallots, garlic

Thinking a little too hard about my teeth today