Payton Barnes

Cool, now when do tickets go on sale?

Really wish Ritz Crackers weren’t as addicting as Lays potato chips.

Just placed an order for a stupid amount of Chinese food to be delivered so I can graze on it all day while rotting on the couch, binging Bravo. This is what life is all about.

There’s never a bad time for a chocolate chip cookie but my absolute favorite time to eat a chocolate chip cookie is right after eating a salad for lunch.

My current hyperfixation is on cotton candy grapes. I can’t get enough of them. Could easily eat the whole bag in one sitting

I was reminded of this joke this past weekend that I heard in high school and had somehow forgot but now can’t stop laughing when I think about it:

What’s black and white, black and white, black and white?

A nun rolling down a hill

😂😂😂😂 it’s just a good, clean joke

Cannot stop thinking about Milchick dancing with that marching band.

This is my Super Bowl

One of life’s greatest combinations is Taco Bell’s nacho cheese and sour cream

Yall ever go to Target on a mission and end up closing your exercise ring? Cause that just happened to me. Who said exercise can’t be fun?

Sometimes you have to listen to reputation from beginning to end to really turn your day around.

HAHAHA amazing

I will forever be amazed at how perfect the Tarzan soundtrack is. Phil Collins was/is such a genius.

Waiting for everyone to realize that Merritt Wever should be in every tv show ever

So much of my job is just bumping up email after email after email basically begging someone to approve of something so I can move on with my work.

As a kid, I always thought the best part of being an adult would be having cake for breakfast, but I was wrong. The best part of being an adult is being able to have shrimp cocktail whenever you want, and not just on holidays.

Let this be a lesson: just because you see Hulu has added Marley and Me doesn’t mean you need to watch it.

Get him, Bianca

Matthew McConaughey you’re in too many commercials. You’re too famous for that, calm down

Speaking of this SNL 50 Concert Special: there is a camera person there that seems to realize Pedro Pascal simultaneously has never looked better and also is having the time of his life. I appreciate that they’re taking their job seriously and cutting to him in the audience during every performance.

Watching the SNL 50 Concert Special. Meryl Streep just flipped the bird to camera while cuddled up next to Martin short (part of a bit), and it’s maybe my favorite thing I’ve ever seen??

Boston Rob was born to be on reality tv the same way that Taylor Swift was born to make music.

If I have to hear about eggs one more time my head is going to spin off.

Now that the Grammy’s are over and Beyonce won Album of the Year and Best Country Album of the Year…I just remembered my balcony door is still open so my neighbors probably heard my (happy) sobs all night.

I deleted Twitter 10 days ago. Don’t get me wrong — the quiet, calm Bluesky has been lovely — but I swear to God I think quitting meth would be easier.

I truly am sorry to my downstairs neighbor for anytime I drop my remote on the floor. It’s a daily occurrence that is also just as annoying to me. If only Roku remotes had a better grip…

Josh Allen, I still love you ❤️💙

I hope there never comes a day where I don’t cry during Defying Gravity at the end of Wicked.

Would pay 50, maybe 100 dollars for a yellow Gatorade with a twist top right now

Awww thank ya