Benj

Happy birthday :)

Rly miss my work wife who would ever so gently suggest it might be lunch time when I started to get testy lol. Apparently I lack the self-awareness!

Okay I all but unhinged my jaw on this burrito and now I'm back to being sweet and nice 😚

I'm kinda like a reverse Gremlin in that I let it get too late in the day without eating anything and now I'm evil

Astor made his fortune through a fur monopoly, the opium trade, and New York City real estate which is a real triple whammy of evil wow

Cosmic justice that Astoria was named in a shameless, mostly unsuccessful* attempt to woo millionaire John Jacob Astor and now we're all socialists 🫡

(*he invested $500 in the 1840s, so <$20k today)

If you don't get that optimism out of my face when I'm trying to gripe

Complaining to a man about how it's gross out today and he hit me with "every day is magical and today is perfect for cuddling" 😒😒😒

My other favorite is a recipe for "easy ravioli" which presumes you own a ravioli press. That would indeed make it easier!

Those recipe video ads on the subway screens are so funny like I glanced at one and it was saying "next, spread the meringue--"

Dermatologist included “solar lentigo” in his after visit summary and I thought “oh what’s that? He didn’t mention it during the appt” and turns out it’s liver spots. Didn’t have the guts to say that to my face huh doc 😤😤😤

I'm so used to IF YOU'RE IN LINE TO ..., STAY IN LINE jokes that it's a little jarring to see it actually in the context of voting lol

Really can't imagine how much of a hateful dumbfuck someone has to be to look at the state of the world and decide the problem is trans people trying to live with peace and dignity

Many, many steps beyond tired at this point, and if that's what they're choosing to highlight... 😬

I'm neutral on Scary Movie but including an "umm did you just assume my gender??" joke in your trailer in 2026 does not fill me with confidence about the timeliness and originality of the rest of your film's humor

Welllllllll it's kinda one of those situations where my reaction is, to quote SZA, "why'd you bother me when you know you don't want me" lol

Hey Siri play “New Rules” by Dua Lipa. Hey Siri, skip, play “Same Ol’ Mistakes” by Rihanna

My most fraught ex loves to jump scare me by viewing my Grindr profile at irregular intervals and the worst part is he’s looking rly good

I love being a 34-year-old gay guy and listening to Lady Gaga. If someone looked at me and said “he’s probably listening to Born This Way” I would yell at them for stereotyping. But they’d be right

I can get the ball rolling on that one

Well... not no!

Shaving my whole body before going to the dermatologist, just in case

Some red carnations :)

You can always just go out and buy yourself some red carnations btw. That’s allowed. No one will stop you

I think you're onto something here

A weird subcurrent in the fujoshi discourse is the extrapolation from "gay men can still be sexist" (true!) to "gay men collectively are as sexist as straight men" (a real stretch!)

Julianne Moore in the middle of saying "so how's THAT gonna work"

Got a scam call from "Verizon" and when I asked how he planned to verify he was a real employee he offered me his "badge number"

Just like... do they think this makes them look brave??

Thank you!!

Thank you king!

Ty ty!!