Audrey Porne

In that case, here's a shameless plug for our Empire Records episode, with the super @audreyporne.bsky.social

That's good you enjoyed it! Maybe I'll give it a hoon when it's streaming 🫣

I literally say I'd use my hands instead.

I dont think I'm gonna watch it, not really my thing! Did you watch it? What're your thoughts? X

Giving me cutlery with my bagel is kind of like asking me for a blowjob. I'm just going to use my hands instead.

My boss went to the food court at lunch, and is now serving 5-10 in food prison!

Challengers rewatch. Follow me on @letterboxd please - I want to know what you like and judge privately / improve my watchlist.
Audponz

trying to convince a guy to wear a condom. call that a wrap battle

Please don't let AI take over movies. What will I watch for entertainment then? Improv shows?? What if they ask me to yell out a profession??? I can't do that

There's simply no respectable reason.

Rizzed to the max.

I've figured out where I am on the political spectrum: Trans women should own AR-15s.

When a straight man in his 30s says he watches Euphoria it's like, oh I'm sure.

"Stop riling my dog up!" I am rizzing your dog up. We are aura farming. I'm going to buy him a hat.

🐄

❤️

You too. X

Okay. "Ahhh I hope my counselor has a guillotine i can borrow" hopefully that's allowed.

Am I allowed to post 'i feel like k*lling myself' on bluesky or are you guys not chill like that?

Thank you! ✨️❤️

Performing standup next week, first time since June due my ongoing back injury.

Might be kinda hard to perform standup when I can't currently stand up.

It takes a big man to admit that he’s wrong. It takes a small man to squeeze through the dog door

I can only say things like "a guillotine couldn't take away the head I'd give him" in front of friend group A.
Friend group B gets "yeah, he's really lovely".

*messages you at 10.50am* U up? 🫦

I can really relate to Rebecca and Diane from cheers.
Ted Danson is just constantly trying to fuck me

Easter is too commercialized now adays. I liked it better when it was just about killing a dude and hiding the body in a cave

💗💗

Scrooge leaning out of his window, yelling to a passing lad at the end of the film

‘You boy! How do I unsubscribe from all these Black Friday emails?’

You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.

That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about (is this not everyone's answer?)