Dick Pfitzer

Pokémon was my first encounter with loot boxes. Been plagued with a crippling need for disappointing surprises ever since

Now that Fetty Wap is back out, 2016 Part 2 just needs Drake and Fetty to link up and leave Monty at the house. I am not doing another decade of listening to "Local Files" on Spotify because of friendship. LOCK THE DOORS

I also sometimes have low conviction in things I say

There’s been an area-wide blackout. Might be the same after all.

Been in a bad funk lately. Tried different things to get out of it. Finally just had to turn off Uptown Funk

Different kinda ICE visit

Watching a WWII documentary and realizing Goebbels was basically just running a Hitler stan account.

I’ve developed a weird intimacy with ChatGPT. Now, whenever I use another chatbot, it genuinely feels like cheating. I haven't felt this kind of guilt since I cheated on my last girlfriend. To be fair, she was imaginary too

I’ve kinda been institutionalised. I just wanna get inside my cell and just stay there. Too much noise outside the spreadsheet.

I think it’s important to never have more or less than two people in a relationship. Unless you’re in your prime, then you’re mathematically allowed a roster of three, five, seven, or eleven.

kinda like the government, less violent tho

you should be able to rate albums on Spotify

i want to make a song called «Death to AI». it’s an Allen Iverson diss

Me: I’ve been thinking about how most things tend to work better when there’s shared effort and mutual involvement

Her: Two heads are better than one

Me: Exactly

Her: Are we talking about threesomes?

Me: We are

white mom, black dad. colonial classic. original recipe™

the *they* in conspiracy theories is McKinsey

are there any low level middle-aged drug dealers?

what’s the difference between an inner monologue and voices in your head? pretty sure i just unlocked a new character

I just figured out that I don’t have to look at my keyboard when typing on my phone

instagram should show stories in the normal feed

everybody should pick a person and use them as a bookmark. I’m choosing Shaq

i fucked up, can we start the year over?

if you’re going to go through your partners phone, start with the banking app. It’ll save you time

the alphabet people being two vastly different groups is humorous

24h news stations shouldn’t exist