The dumb ignorabt shit head

Indubitably

‪𝙎𝙃𝙐𝙏 𝘿𝘼 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆 𝙐𝙋‬

I love the Devil and Hell

Imagine missing that head though, go straight back to sniper school you’re weak

Guy named Joey Hotdog entering a chestnut eating contest

it’s that time of year again

You got me fucked up, I’m not nefarious bro

[languidly swirling my snifter of cognac] Machinations? Me?!

Anything yet?

In Canada they call Grimace “Purple Dennis”

A rainbow

Satan rejoicing that Jesus is dead today, natural wonders abound

They’re not LIKE the Snuggie

I’m here to do two things chew bubblegum and run out of bubblegum and I’m all out of bubblegum

I support dogs with diarrhea

I’m a single issue voter

I should get an Oscar for not watching the Oscars

Naming the bad guy in my fantasy novel “Odeous Schithæl” and it just don’t have that same snap

Tolkien cooked so hard when he named him Grima Wormtongue

This is so sinister

New year new me (even bigger piece of shit)

My sister’s friend recently went to the Museum of Natural History in Pakistan and folks… there’s nothing natural about it

Deleting = true integrity

Visited by three ghosts this Christmas but they’re all just Depression

Gonna follow this ghastly eldritch light into the woods brb

Probably fine that I ignore the broken gate over the small culvert that leads to the innermost sanctum of my fortress, it’s not like anyone will notice it and I can use the time and money I save to add more unskilled archers to the parapets

Are you crappin me arse m8? You takin the wipe? Flushing the turds, innit

Not my phone, my phone’s different

Here’s something you can do that doesn’t involve meticulous planning and a weeklong manhunt but is necessary and useful nonetheless

He went Waluigi mode