Sue: "I don't know officer. I think maybe he farted himself to death."
Bennie: I hate how plausible that is.
07.03.2026 05:16
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Sue: "I don't know officer. I think maybe he farted himself to death."
Bennie: I hate how plausible that is.
You may be on to something ... or just on something.
Just once I would like this to spiral IN to control.
♫ And I'm here... to remind you... of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me. ♫
*ominous polka noises*
(Singing to "I'm gonna be" by the Proclaimers)
And -I- would pawb five hundred maws...
And -I- would pawb five hundred more...
I disagree with the song. There is definitely more than one way to rock. There are plenty of ways to rock.
I’ll slap you so hard, your existence will be erased from historic convention records!
I need to thank @alkalibismuth.bsky.social for teaching me how to edge a pancake.
I am having a I-wish-I-was-out-of-body experience...
Leave the car keys. You may start walking.
digital illustration of a large, goat-like Krampus with a chains, Rute, and basket on his back hooks the clawed tip of his finger on the collar of a little boy who is eating a most-likely stolen pie
you better watch out
you betTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
Happy Krampusnacht!
... then you put a mattress for a slutty person in it.
Then it'll be a one whore's open sleigh.
Shh! ... you smell that?
Past me was awesome. Because they bought cookies and didn't eat them all. And now I have a snack.
If that dude just stopped speaking about 30 seconds before he stopped speaking ... his whole life would improve.
(A story thread)
Belly button thief!
Javier! Peel me another hot dog!
Drawing of a short and toony deer, her eyes looking up and to the left while clasping her hoof-hands together and smiling with a sticking-out tongue. She’s definitely up to something!
A 20 minute Li’l Guy drawing of me by @lizardbethart.bsky.social, who is fantastic to commission, btw!
Like gassy moths to a flame!
Bennie: Haggis and Pineapple Pizza...
Sue: (slowly reaches for spray bottle.)
Bennie: ACK! NO! NOOOOOOOOooooo
I regret that I have but two middle fingers to give you right now...
Not all heroes wear capes.
Some wear clown shoes.
Bennie: Wait? Are you littering?
Sue: No. That would require me dropping kittens.
If you let ideas simmer in your mind like chili, ... sometimes good stuff farts out.
I know they say "you are what you eat" -- but I don't remember eating back pain and a bad knee.
The new Pope’s age is 69.
N-… *bites fist*
We should open an Indian restaurant with a Lion King theme.
Because we could sell HAKUNA MASALA.
IIIIII LIKE MAWSHMELLOOOOWS!
"You heard it, folks! Sue likes marshmallows!"