I need to buy some red spray paint so I can correct the grammar and spelling in our building’s graffiti.

Last night I saw a well-dressed man and I thought to myself “oh cool, he’s wearing a short-sleeved blazer” and I swear to god half an hour went by before I realized “that’s a shirt, you’re just describing what a shirt is.”

I love Los Angeles in the rain because it feels like a film noir detective could start doing jaded voiceover any second.

At this point the absolute safest retirement plan is winning on a game show.

(1/3) It needs repeating: in 1994, Ukraine was persuaded to give up its nuclear weapons to Russia in return for the US, the UK, and Russia guaranteeing Ukraine’s sovereignty, security, and territorial integrity.

Main Character YouTube video by Tommy Spears Comedy

To Friendship! 🥂

New sketch by @tommyspearscomedy.bsky.social 🎬

youtu.be/MYiIHPsRPN0?...

Wait is this app named for the Irving Berlin song??

Remember like a year ago when congress confirmed aliens were real? What happened with that, anyway?

I told my friend he looks like a young Cary Grant and the woman sitting in front of us turned around to look, so yeah, I guess you could say I’m an influencer.

Why doesn’t the word “leopard” rhyme with the word “leotard?” What happened to my country?

Bury me in a diner.

Can’t wait for the next episode of Billionaires ca. Humanity!!

I keep seeing my friends in LA posting about a mechanical bull—where is this country/western bar and can I spit tobacco right on the floor??

If I could have any job in the world, it would be Snack Guy to the Revolution.

Vanilla Ice should sue these racists for ruining the phrase “ice, ice baby”

It’s so crazy that groceries aren’t cheaper. It’s almost like some moron tried to get rid of a ton of food production laborers…but who would be that stupid?

I gotta say, as a grant writer working for nonprofits, y’all are about to learn how much you actually rely on grants and how much they touch your lives. So have fun with that.

It’s funny—I was told that time would only be moving forward this year.

Insurrection Barbie @DefiyantlyFree · 21h The administrative state, like the whole entire thing, it is completely unconstitutional. Elon Musk @elonmusk · 20h Yes Autism Capital 🧩 @AutismCapital · Jan 25 🚨 ELON MUSK: “Something that I think is very important is that people take pride in Germany and being German. It’s OK to be proud to be German. It’s good to be proud of German culture and not lose that to a multiculturalism that dilutes everything.” 0:04 / 1:00 Elon Musk @elonmusk · 21h Yes Elon Musk @elonmusk · 21h Bureaucracy is killing America Quote Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal · 21h 🇺🇸DROWNING IN RED TAPE: AMERICA’S BUREAUCRACY IS OUT OF CONTROL Unelected bureaucrats hold a lot of power in America, strangling personal and business ventures in endless rules and paperwork. Congress writes the laws, but it’s the administrative state that decides how they’re x.com/elonmusk/statu… Show more Sven Kock @SvenBKock76 · 21h And in germany , too !!! Elon Musk @elonmusk · 21h True Elon Musk @elonmusk · 21h New name for the water that separates England and France Elon Musk reposted Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok · Jan 25 A man who’s in our country illegally was artested in FL after killing a 6-year-old boy while driving under the influence. It’s his 3rd DUI. He now has an ICE detainer hold. Reminder that 150 Democrats voted against deporting illegals for DUIs. Elon Musk @elonmusk · 21h They sure did and still are. @DOGE will stop it. Quote Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal · Jan 25 🇺🇸NGOs FUNNELED BILLIONS OF TAX DOLLARS INTO ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION UNDER BIDEN Turns out nonprofits weren’t just helping migrants—they were funding the crisis!

Once again, Musk overtly spreads the Great Replacement conspiracy theory.

The fact that there is not an outcry at every single one of these tweets shows how easily this conspiracy theory has been normalized. A big part of that is that Musk just spreads it constantly, so people/media just give up.

Post from 'Rev. Benjamin Cremer' states, "If your Christianity causes you to be offended by someone asking the most powerful person in the country to be merciful towards the powerless, then you have deeply, deeply misunderstood the teachings of Jesus Christ."

So many have not learned them at all.

I can’t be sure, but I’m starting to think that heir to an apartheid emerald mine might be a racist.

TIL that you can’t approach horses from behind or they’ll spook, and I immediately asked, out loud, “wait, did horses invent missionary?” and I don’t think I’m getting a second interview at that zoo.