chappell moan

I got donuts and if you’re really nice to me i’ll let you have one (but I took one bite out of each one already)

showed up to a dick appointment last night on my period with my hair oiled, no make up, wearing a baggy hoodie and sweats while this man looked so nice with a fresh retwist and line up and I think that’s beautiful

an orgasm a day keeps the hysteria away

sluttiest thing a man can do is be a good cat dad

do u fw girls who are really into youtube videos about tornados

cleaning some things and taking a shower is so important when you don’t feel Normal

thinking about sugar free redbull and whimpering

laying in bed listening to the weeknd, gua shaing my face, plotting my way to getting hotter, feeling like cassie in euphoria

wine drunk at 7:30pm on a tuesday ama

I love being 27 and wine drunk and singing along to paramores brand new eyes album in my apartment, I may be depressed but 12 year old me listening to this for the first time would have thought 27 year old me was really cool

every time I take a sip of wine my lip ring clinks against my glass

when do we get drafts

gotta look pretty when i’m at a red light because what if the loml is in the car next to me

omg thank you :,)

i’m like if a girl looked like strawberry shortcake and was driving home from work

having pretty eyes is such a flex

turning into my mother (wanting a glass of wine after work) with my fathers taste (red wine)

@ work

having to work when I have cramps… illegal

yesterday my manager told me I was dressed like I should be in the movie the craft

@ work

45° + sunny today and hitting the 50’s next week? baby spring is cominggg

"are you ticklish?" i actually have a gun on me right now.

imagine getting food stuck in your teeth before they invented floss. i’d start ripping my teeth out

I think the human tongue should be able to flatten thin enough to fit between your teeth as a built in way to floss

lmaoo I mean it seems like top secret information?? surely they wouldn’t just give that out for free bc I asked, gotta turn it into a mission

I need to start fucking someone who works at my favorite thai restaurant so I can get the peanut sauce recipe

putting airbuds back on my home screen so I can know when my friends are listening to embarrassing music

ohh I use my friends shutter account! but other than her idk anyone that has one lol

my head hurts so bad a need someone with big hands to come squeeze it til it pops