Amanda B

Last night one of my friends asked me if I wanted to go somewhere at 10:30pm, at my age, that's like asking me if I want to go somewhere at 3am.

Listen, everything is my business.

One of my work besties said she felt manic and wanted to get a tattoo so I sent her a pack of temporary tattoos off Amazon.

That's friendship.

Getting a Coke doordashed because of a migraine.

That's friendship.

Ending up in the files....

Not friendship.

I'm so obsessed with Mythical Kitchen. I am constantly thinking about my idela final meal.

If I ever become a Dateline episode, y'all better be eating, like a full out spread of what I would have wanted as my last meal, like Mythical Kitchen style with my little besties laughing that I did not light up a room and potentially had this coming but I was funny and kind.

BOGO at Five Guys essentially means you're getting the burgers at what they should cost in general.

Yep! One of the like 90 people around here apparently was offended by some shirtless Jon Redcorn

Who reported me?!

Can't even have hobbies anymore.

*41

I buried someone from the last war, then a friend from it. I'm not really up for that again in my lifetime. My adult life started with burying Justin and then Casey and I really cannot believe this is happening again.

I wish MAGA had the same hate for child sex traffickers and pedophiles as they do for women with an OF.

A panda lies on his back in the grass and stares at the sky

When you search for your value and purpose in the world but you're hangry and all you care about is bamboo.

One of my friends just text me asking if I wanted to go to a hotel this weekend and just eat, sleep and watch crime tv..

Sounds like a proposal to me.

Never give a man money or you're going to have a bad time and maybe even end up as a Dateline story with your crazy best friend shouting at the host.

It's been pretty stressful and all I want to do is go spend $300 on fried cheese.

Might call my insurance and see if they will cover a lobotomy.

We went too hard on The Pitt......

We are doing too much now.

Monday March 2nd, 2026....

Dear Diary,

I have beaten my Jimmy John's Vito score.

I'm always like bestie, it 5am, I'm going to work and my plans after work are bed.

Yes, I know I'm sparkling like a vampire from a teen romance, no I didn't notice my new body butter had glitter before coating my entire body (twice) after my shower, no, I won't be showing to get it off until later.

I'm just saying, anywhere I can get a coffee called an Annihilator, it shouldn't be served by a 20 year old springing out of the drive through window asking me if I have any plans at 540am.

I have to change my password at work tomorrow, so depending how that goes, I may need a new job because I'm out of passwords at this point.

If I come in to this tomorrow, I'm walking out and just accepting that maybe I am for the streets. As long as I have lip balm.

It was a weekend.

I just want a toasted coconut cake and to not have to go to work this week. I'm not getting either.

Someone at work suggested calling meetings over an hour "retreats" and I will not tolerate the gentrification of pointless meetings.

And still ran it in the afterlife 💅

I really never expected to live in a world where POTUS used more self-tanner than I did.

How's work going?

I had Zofran for lunch.