The Walking Punchline™️

I'm still in disbelief 😂

Man NOBODY ever know what I'm talking about when I mention Keijo! 😭🤝🏿

The screen at the pump about to be like

"Do you see this? 🤨" moved me fr

You don’t need to think. It’s Nintendo.

Hmmm I've lived two miles from one for almost four years and nobody I've worked or went to school with has said SHIT about that place 😬🤣

Fingers crossed that your location is just amazing and maybe mine faded into the background or something 😭 never been so I wouldn't know if it's a hidden gem!

Damnit I missed the main character of the day 😭

Bring it on 😛😛😛

a man with a beard is laughing in a blue shirt with imgplay at the bottom ALT: a man with a beard is laughing in a blue shirt with imgplay at the bottom

Aww panda express employees try to warn you that the new dynamite sweet & sour chicken is "really spicy" when you order it 😂 well considering 92% of other places clearly don't know what that word means, I'm guessing this will be a normal to slightly elevated amount of heat lol

Screenshot of my music player showing the album cover for "In Search Of" by N.E.R.D. with the track "Things Are Getting Better" playing

High of 80° today 🥹

If I'm talking and you want me to stop either kiss me or feed me...

just saying 💋

Now I want a doughnut. Fuck.

a little girl is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed . ALT: a little girl is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed .

😞

🫠 first bojangles, now them

Literally have stopped going to places the first time I hear that stupid ass voice answer

Noooooo not taco bell 😫 they done hopped on the ai drive thru bandwagon uuuuuuuuuurrrrgghhh

HARD agree 🥴 was shown some chats between my line brothers in college and I wanted to throw up

(text thread between two people: Person 1: How do you think I feel? CRUSTY TOES DEVIL TATTOO Person 2: BEER CAN Person 1: RED HEADED FREAK DADDY

That summer was a fun one 😂 everybody had a name from something they said/requested, something weird she'd discover after meeting them, or from the background of tindr pictures of declined meetups (like the crusty toes)

OH YEAH one of their contact names was just "🍓🍓🍓" because he said he wanted her to eat a bowl of strawberries after he nutted on them 💀 (she did not oblige) and I edited the "right in front of my salad" meme to say strawberries for his contact picture sksjskksdj

A friend of mine (who is very cuffed and happy now) used to frequently book dick appointments through tindr so you know the nicknames were flying 😭

Febreeze Can and Shrimp were both related to size

Chlamydia Clay is self explanatory 💀

I'll have to try to remember some more

My mom called this dude she used to talk to Handy Man because he had a deformity and a shriveled up hand. I almost felt bad until I found out he was a hobosexual who frequently lied to her and tried to make her get rid of her dogs to focus her resources on him 😒

Most definitely

out here terrorizing random soccer moms at the grocery store 💀💀💀

3️⃣3️⃣3️⃣

a woman wearing a pair of earrings with an x on them is dancing with other women ALT: a woman wearing a pair of earrings with an x on them is dancing with other women

ayyyye

I'm about to start going up to random people and asking "can you see me???"

Cute ass hypothetical that the skyline took straight to hell for some reason 😭 like why do folks hate fun?? Purely IMAGINARY fun at that?!

Yep. Unspoken rules seemingly threaded into our dna that will apparently cause us to explode if we don't follow them 🙃

Right like if there's any intermingling it needs to be under interracial 👉🏿🚪

It wassss 🤤 I got potstickers for an app too