Dave

This is a free post. To subscribe and get all my posts, hit subscribe

Feeling flirty at the car dealership, I ask, “Do *you* come with the car?” ;)

“Yes,” says the steering wheel. “I am the car’s steering wheel.”

Mister Ducks

Congratulations to new interim executive director of the Major League Baseball Players Association, @pauldebenedetto.bsky.social

Are you guys trying to say hamlet

Tonight, we caught and compromised to a permanent end, the New England Patriots

That’s right

Her editor should either be fired or given a medal

“We came from fire and return to fire” is just too good

Also shout out to my personal tailor, Biaggio

Taylor Greene. Taylor Swift also

Honorable mention to Marjorie Tyler Green, Donald Trump, Lily Allen and perennial favorite “colonialism”. It was anybody’s race this year

Congratulations to @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social you are this year’s topic of conversation at every Thanksgiving table

New York Groove subscriber Zohran Mamdani has converted the president to socialism

It’s so funny to be the exact level of famous that I am

The polls don’t lie: no doubt Mamdani has a lot of momentum. But will that translate into votes? We’ll see on election day

Which Democrats are running for mayor and what do they know about me, Dave? We've got a comprehensive guide of candidates challenging Eric Adams, and what they know about Dave's whole deal

The candidate who was most familiar with my dumb bullshit is now the mayor-elect nygroove.nyc/nyc-mayoral-...

The lesson is clear, american politicians must seek the approval of jadakiss on an individual basis.

Is anyone going as Weird A.I.

Regular PI

Second costume is Magnum PI Except Magnum Thinks The Dodgers Never Should Have Left Brooklyn

I’m just Regular Al @alyankovic.bsky.social

I got something to say/
I heard that Borat was gay, and it/
Doesn’t matter much to me/
Cause I’m not his wife

What a way to start the morning: Blade 2 /Army of Darkness double feature

Second movie of the day and already something I won’t shut the fuck up about for the next year

You could be watching this right now at secretcinematheque.com

lmao

LET’S ALL GO TO THE DANG MOVIES

lmao