Late to the party Laura

If you stare in the mirror for too long you create an opening for your looking glass self to come out and switch places with you.

Putting my cold foot on my own leg to see how I like it

Always here, putting the less into the nonethe.

It’s a win win situation

Hear me out: a cake you jump into.

Listening to Abba's The day before you came - whilst I work. Because I can. Also, as saw Bono do his own version of it the other night and he really needs to release that.

Motivationless Monday: let's not go; we're not doing this!

You know when you didn’t quite shut your fridge door properly and then go to open it again and fall backwards.

Posting for attention and validation from strangers: a 4 step approach

Going to keep reposting my posts until you like them all because they are all deserving of love

existential greg

strengths: pouring wine in the dark

😂 🍊

😂 I see. I think elephant is more me too actually.

Well there’s a bit of luck! Is that 5 pips then?

I don’t know that either! I was way past tangerine though. There must have been 15 pips in it to spit out!!

Had so many pips in the tangerine I was eating, you’d think I was trying to recreate the cherry scene in The Witches of Eastwick.

Nothing makes me feel more intellectual than poking myself in the eye with my glasses

Oh so easily done!

Spends time replying to an email in a precise, well-articulated and considered way. Nothing is missed.

Presses Send.

ERROR: Please specify at least one recipient.

I’d have done EXACTLY the same.

I re-used an email and in changing the dates asked them to respond by February 25rd.

Big news. My toothbrush ran out of charge, just as I finished cleaning my teeth. Not at the start, not in the middle somewhere, but right at the end.

I think I’ve got this LinkedIn post just right [presses post].

Woman on the tube after a screaming toddler has just got off the train, half carried by his mum: The thing is, I actually do like children. But I'd rather have a glass of wine.

There was a make-up ad that said “perfect for lazy moms.“ Gosh, us lazy moms shirking our make-up responsibilities again.

Saying “no” without explaining yourself and other acts of bravery.

I’m not one to be early, but I’d like to spring forward now please.

My 4yo drew a family picture. She’d drawn herself next to mommy, then her brother and sister beside them. When I asked where I was, she said “I didn’t have any space left for you!”

I can understand there’s limited space, but I’m surprised I was ousted in favour of her imaginary sister.

😭

Forgot why I came here, again.