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Dr. Gabagool and the Salami of Secrets

@jimpjorps

Hymie Tungjorps. Hungie Bopboops. Hingy Tingus. Hyro Bingbip. Hingus Dalp. Jangly Hinghops. Tarmie Wingwas. Tempie Hemphouse. https://github.com/hunkyjimpjorps

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22.06.2023
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Latest posts by Dr. Gabagool and the Salami of Secrets @jimpjorps

any time something I post starts showing up on the Discover feed I get blocked by a bunch of zero-post zero-follower accounts who are apparently just here for the news and don't appreciate me posting jokes when there's a cheeto in the white house

06.03.2026 15:54 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

what if we avoid the blowback by throwing the imperial boomerang as hard as possible into our own faces first

06.03.2026 15:49 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
From the 90s community on Reddit: Plug In β€˜97: The Low-Stress Guide To High Tech Explore this post and more from the 90s community

www.reddit.com/r/90s/commen...

06.03.2026 15:24 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

like 80% complimentary

06.03.2026 15:04 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
another cast photo of Votager, this time in neutral earth tone sweaters and khakis lounging around a taupe room

another cast photo of Votager, this time in neutral earth tone sweaters and khakis lounging around a taupe room

computer, adjust parameters of simulation

05.03.2026 23:58 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
the cast of Star Trek Voyager in street clothes awkwardly posing with late-90s computer hardware and consumer electronics

the cast of Star Trek Voyager in street clothes awkwardly posing with late-90s computer hardware and consumer electronics

this is what it feels like to post on bluesky

05.03.2026 23:01 πŸ‘ 3922 πŸ” 1028 πŸ’¬ 67 πŸ“Œ 103
the cast of Star Trek Voyager, out of costume, in a pink room and wearing 90s black clothes

the cast of Star Trek Voyager, out of costume, in a pink room and wearing 90s black clothes

my favorite UPN-core cast photo is this one from Star Trek Voyager where they tried to get a little "irreverent yet sexy Fox legal drama" with it

05.03.2026 22:56 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

AT&T guy who inexplicably has a desk set up in the middle of the grocery store: HELLO SIR! Quick question! Who do you use for your phone service???

Me: SPECIAL FREDO TECHNIQUE!!! 100 CONSECUTIVE PUNCHES TO THE PEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!

05.03.2026 21:03 πŸ‘ 55 πŸ” 10 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

why does Ben Stiller have his own line of artisanal soda

05.03.2026 19:56 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

it's not some esoteric bit of historical trivia, is the thing; American white nationalists up to this day openly use that kind of iconography to identify themselves to fellow travelers, and I'd hope anyone on any kind of national politics beat would be able to recognize them too

05.03.2026 18:28 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

no you aren't

05.03.2026 16:42 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

the average bsky user could give you five minutes off the cuff on all the ways Bluesky PBC is fucking up while the average twitter user would stammer through apologia about how you have to be exposed to opinions and plus the brands are there

05.03.2026 16:40 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

climb down off that cross, Ryan baby

05.03.2026 11:36 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A store named The Fun-Ghoul in Rutherford, New Jersey, which sounds like "vaffancul'" (shove it up your ass) in Italian

A store named The Fun-Ghoul in Rutherford, New Jersey, which sounds like "vaffancul'" (shove it up your ass) in Italian

hey, fuck you too, store

03.03.2026 02:05 πŸ‘ 15 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

a lot of them also seem to have a uniquely bad understanding of odds and probability, they see things like "0.3% of measles cases die" but they can only understand chances as "it's sure to happen" and "it'll never happen"

04.03.2026 13:25 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

they think measles is just a fun childhood rite of passage where you get weird skin blotches for a week and not a disease that can burn out your ear nerves or make your brain explode out of your skull so they're not too fussed over the outbreak

04.03.2026 13:19 πŸ‘ 16 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

and the advisors and pundits pushing hardest to drop the "weird" messaging turned out to all generally agree with Republicans, just not their aesthetics

they hated "weird" because they felt attacked by it too

03.03.2026 16:52 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

it's also something the KSA wants too; they've got designs on being a regional power but their reach is limited because they're hemmed in on pretty much all sides, so taking Iran off the board lets them project further out

03.03.2026 15:49 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
A store named The Fun-Ghoul in Rutherford, New Jersey, which sounds like "vaffancul'" (shove it up your ass) in Italian

A store named The Fun-Ghoul in Rutherford, New Jersey, which sounds like "vaffancul'" (shove it up your ass) in Italian

hey, fuck you too, store

03.03.2026 02:05 πŸ‘ 15 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Post image
02.03.2026 21:20 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

sometimes you just need two tubas

02.03.2026 20:39 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

oh not a complaint, just a statement of fact

02.03.2026 20:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I currently have two tubas in my car

02.03.2026 20:07 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

hegseth and rubio aren't particularly implicated by it, so they don't have any reason to be distracting from anything, they just want to do strongman things to look tough on the world stage

02.03.2026 16:06 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

whenever I am sick I am always reminded of how many vile fluids I contain

02.03.2026 14:31 πŸ‘ 41 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

from the way I've heard conservatives use it, they seem to think Iran was renamed from "Persia" after the revolution

01.03.2026 03:46 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

if linux is so great then why haven't they released ubunthree yet

28.02.2026 22:58 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

that’s a weird thing to conclude

28.02.2026 19:01 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Sexual Steve, the Erotic Singing Salmon

28.02.2026 02:42 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Video thumbnail
28.02.2026 00:20 πŸ‘ 40 πŸ” 10 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0