Jessy

Pope Francis in heaven right now explaining why JD Vance can't be photographed with a couch.

What a jerky-faced buffoon. #autism

Just had to buy eggs. Is 5.3% on a short-term personal loan a good rate? #inflation #eggprices #groceryshopping #trumpisaliar

If it doesn't warm up soon I'm going to let them burn me at the stake for being a witch. #kentucky #weather #winter #socold

Yeah, I mean, get it, I support you. I'd boycott us, too. But we don't have oranges to export lol Well, we do have one orange thing I'd be more than willing to export...

The Last Days of American Orange Juice Savor every last drop.

Because of citrus greening, most the orange juice in America is made from a blend of international oranges. Over the past 20 years, Florida's production has decreased 92%. We don't have oranges to sell in the first place. www.theatlantic.com/health/archi...

Australia is now legally known as Down Under and we're in talks to rename Switzerland to RIIIIIICOLAAAAA. #satire #gulfofamerica #redwhiteandblueland

I went to the gym and now my muscles hurt. I went to the dentist and now my teeth hurt.

Taking care of your body is a conspiracy by Big Pain to sell more Tylenol.

How to get a man: tell him you have a thicc ass and mental illness

How to lose a man: show interest and try to get to know him

Here's a short list of things Elon Musk can't take away from us:

Childhood memories
The taste of ice cream on a hot summer day
This thicc ass
Love and friendship
My mental illnesses

#elonmusk #elon #musk #literallywtf #americaiscooked

Honestly it would be way too easy to lure me into the woods. All you'd need is...the woods.