CasperTheFriendlyBeagle

With all the stress and worries in life…

The last thing you’d think you need to worry about is a President deliberately trying to fuck up people’s lives.

Night night sweet dreamies

People won’t remember the labels you wore, the size of your home, the numbers in your account
They’ll remember how you made them feel, the love you showed and the gentleness you brought to their lives

Real wealth is written in the hearts you touched

The daily circle jerk.

Jesus. I hope he used some mouthwash after gargling balls that hard.

Cuba?! Cuba?!?!

We haven’t even finished the War on Christmas!!!

Good morning and welcome to Fish For Tea Friday

Lemonading 🍋

Choosing optimism when things don’t go to plan.
Seeing obstacles as training, setbacks as feedback, and delays as preparation.

Not every detour is a dead end, sometimes it’s just a better route.

I haven't been to the gym in months. My joints have stopped hurting and I've had so much more time to do meaningful things.

I once rejected a new hire at work because she unapologetically and proudly told me she was a Hufflepuff.

My plans for today? Same as always; drink coffee and be sexy.

🤷🏼 🇺🇸

don’t worry. you’re exactly where you should be in life. because you’ve made poor choices.

going ballistic. anyone need anything?

It's incredible how popular bacon is in America considering just how shit their bacon is.

Night night, sweet dreamies

Hard times don’t create the hero within us, they reveal the strength that was already there.

So be your own superhero tonight.
Trust that you are far stronger than you sometimes believe.

Just checking in to make sure everything is still stupid.

I’m all for diversity in film which is why I think the next Air Bud needs to be a corgi.

there is a lot of sadness in the world but perhaps nothing more heartbreaking than the face of the dog who must fast before his visit to the vet this morning

Nothing good ever came about by going into any pub called The Griffin.

Wife went to doctor as she'd regularly wake up at exactly 2am with no explanation. He prescribed vitamins. On the way to the shop I remembered that I've set the washing machine, dishwasher and dryer to come on at 2am to save on electricity. They all beep when they start running

Vapers who have never smoked have no business vaping and are just shallow bandwagon jumpers. Vapers should be time-served on the tabs.

i put the hot in psychotic.

If you see "This message was deleted" on WhatsApp it's because the person who sent it either changed their mind about sending it or it was no longer relevant. You don't need to ask "What did the message you deleted say?" every time.

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this....

Ever finish a chapter in your life and wish you’d never learned to read?

Somedays I wish I had earlids.

Night night sweet dreamies

Take a moment to notice what you carried, what you conquered, and what you quietly survived.
Not every win is loud.
Not every step forward is visible.
But you showed up, and that matters.
Rest tonight knowing you’ve earned your place in tomorrow.

There was a time when I thought George Bush was as bad as it could get.

I was wrong.

I don't know where Waldo is. I have my own problems.

(fiddler trying to get noticed) look everyone, i’m on the roof