bog landlord

what doesnt kill you better start trying harder

i assume that "hack" is a compliment in your dialect

i love watching birds of a feather but their flocking patterns still escape me

First morning in Horses Instead of Pigs Twin Peaks, Diane. Breakfast at the Double R Diner; delicious. Black coffee, two eggs over easy wheat toast and bacon so rare it was still neighing

"yeah man thats crazy. gotta head out soon but we should totally do this again"

aliens are sharing their technology with me and frankly it sucks

if they automate being a broke loser its over for me

my parents walked so i could stumble and fall and get really good at guitar. well. mediocre at guitar

cautiously observing the other guys technique before approaching the urinal

great reaction to my standup routine. bus driver is laughing like a maniac and driving faster and faster

i must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to get addicted to video poker

im counting chickens from eggs that havent even been laid yet

Bro imagine rolling up to church having just written Ave Maria. Suck my dick, god. Your move

as a dark pacifist i believe that war is wrong and am thus in favor of it

lot of strategizing in gamer spaces about how to fix this

safe sucks. ill go sorry all day

any car can be a self-driving car as long as you don't care if your destination is wall

i dont have anything going on so im down to be one of your disgraceful hangers-on if youre in the market

in lean times i save empty posts to my drafts just so i have something in there

laser focused on everything at once

way i see it if you cant hang with orangutans you cant hang with me

My brain doesn’t care about escaping my skull because I keep plenty of hay in there and every once in a while I feed it an apple or a sugar cube

i understand orangutans better than i understand myself. theyre a kind of orange bear

dont care. ill bring my own tickets too

sneaking my own fireworks into the movie theater

not realistic to learn from my mistakes. too many of them

telling my parents you can ground a person but you cant ground an idea

"some shit is about to happen". oh yeah what else is new

far off lands near me

on a lily pad they said now theyre ribbiting instead