Ben Hebert

Lol totally the center can definitely hold

Darius “The Rumble” Grouch, IIRC

Ichiro vibes are just that strong

It really is. There are Viet-Cajun restaurants all over Houston. Vietnamese crawfish spots are easier to find than Cajun crawfish.

Every morning the brave men and women of the NYPD kiss their loved ones goodbye because you never know if today is the day they get hit with snowballs so bad they have to get ambulanced to the hospital.

I took it as his younger self, especially with how old that TV is

Not a bad way to go tbh

Acquired for cash considerations in a trade with the French

I needed this today

Here’s a winter’s tale for you: it’s too dang cold!

Only the best negotiators know to start with compromise

They tried to send the Texas National Guard to Chicago in November. These are not smart people.

Chicago dogs are just elaborate golden decoys to keep tourists away from the true grail, the Maxwell Street Polish.

Should we throw a party? Should we invite Beto O’Rourke?

God is on their side it just isn’t fair

If my dumb little Twilight podcast does for even one person what @flophousepodcast.com does for me then it is just as worth my time as any Serious Satire I could be making. So I keep making the light stuff because if no one did, the heavy stuff would be so much harder to handle. /thread

And that has strengthened my resolve to keep making lighthearted content that doesn’t shy away from taking positions about current issues but also doesn’t make them unavoidable. (6/X)

As the years have gone on and my personal baseline of anxiety has gotten higher, I’ve relied more and more on lighthearted media. I fall asleep every night because of a podcast that helps me tune out the horrors that otherwise keep me awake. (4/X)

It’s kind of a dorky metaphor but it stuck in my head and it keeps getting feeling truer to me. With each year, as things seemingly get darker and darker, I find comfort in the lighthearted media. It allows me to forgot about the heavy stuff for a minute and decompress. (4/X)

It said something like social justice warriors are important but a D&D party of just warriors would suck and die immediately. It said we need social Justice clerics and bards and all kinds of other people to support those doing the heavy shit because that really takes a toll. (3/X)

I felt a guilt that I wasn’t doing anything like that; that I was just doing dumb silly improv without any real point. Then I saw a Tumblr that shifted my perspective. (2/X)

This is something I also think about a lot. I started doing comedy in 2014, right before shit really hit the fan. Fast forward a couple years and the majority of the comedy I was consuming was heavy stuff that tackled the issues of the day like Last Week Tonight and Seth Meyers’ closer looks. (1/X)

If onions are Peyton then shallots are Eli

“Captain of the HMS Monkey” sounds like an insult from a Doctor Dolittle book.

Years ago, I did improv at Station Theater in Houston and Jake was a few classes below me. Rob came out to see Jake’s level 1 graduation. I get that travel is a lot easier for someone like him but flying across the country for your son’s level 1 improv show really says a lot about the guy.

Nothing goes better with a gas station burrito than a cold bottle of Big Red

Any cheese too. I’ve been a cheesemonger for about a year and I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t pair perfectly with ham.