John MacLeod

(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

True Art

This is, objectively, the most hilarious thing I've seen on the socials today, and I've seen that Starmer/Military TikTok clip.

Is the original song title ‘My Old Dad’s A Dustman’?

On Sundays I will sit and listen to Thursday & Sunday editions of @quietriotpod.bsky.social - watching the state of thing plus batshit headlines, I’m really struggling to imagine what I’m in for.

- AI training isn’t ‘learning’ and shouldn’t be treated as such

The House of Lords has been absolutely consistent on this, and they are totally right. Will the government listen?

/end

Can't wait for the gvt to completely ignore this because some billionaires gave them tickets to see Oasis

PS it was Fiona Bruce who said #GreenParty policy is to leave NATO, and it was about 17 minutes into the show.

#bbcqt

www.bbc.co.uk/contact/comp...

Lots of Savile energy here.

But no, we were in luck, because she was RIGHT BEHIND US.

You’d think, wouldn’t you, that you & your pal making catty comments about the car parked on the pavement right in front of your house wouldn’t be responded to by the person who owns the car.

It’s not often my cockles are warmed this well.

I'm not exactly sure what radishes were invented for but it definitely wasn't eating

ket slag

found your dad’s hat

A post in the UK Comedy gig list forum Anonymous participant: Hi all, I’m looking for comedians for Wednesday 1st April for a comedy night at a pub in Milton Keynes. If interested please comment and we will contact you Anonymous participant 578 (me): Yeah sure, DM me Anonymous participant: I’m unable to message as your anonymous Anonymous participant 578 (me): I'll DM you then Anonymous participant 578 (me): I’m unable to message as your anonymous

I anonymously applied to an anonymous gig and we have found ourselves at an impasse.

I just need a skip button.

Precedented times would be nice, wouldn’t it? I’m watching Star Trek again and feeing really wistful for the depiction of humanity that isn’t a bumble of self-interested clownshoes scrambling over each other to be the shrillest, thickest meat poncho.

This is amazing. Genuinely thought it was from The Onion when I first glanced at the title.

“So what drives you to being a carer?”
[shrugs]
“I d’no, summat do when me phone’s not pingin’ innit.”

THAT was the best political strategy in the entire world??? THAT???

All of this. Plus their makers stole all our work, are trying to change our IP laws to lionise this theft, took a sledgehammer to the creative economy and successfully reframed predictive text generation as the zenith of artistic achievement

Also, the fascism

That’s not a professional comment for the job he’s got! Good grief, if I said that in any professional setting I’d expect to be laughed out of the universe, never mind the office!

I watched Twin Peaks last year and then jumped back into DS9 a short while later. There’s a Bajoran resistance leader who gets rescued in a two-parter, called Li Nalas, played by Richard Beymer (Ben Horne in Twin Peaks). The DS9 episode was not quite the same on the rewatch.

Yes.

“Kemi is asked a taxing question by a hash brown”

I was talking to a friend last night about Badenoch (around the BLAME MUSLIMS response everyone gave to by-election), and hadn’t seen her “no money for bombs but lots for welfare, is it?” until later. BLOODY HELL.

The main question for Tory leader is a previous QR one: who else is there? Grayling?!

The Tories' YT channel, meanwhile, think SHE SMASHED IT.😂

It is embarrassing. She is embarrassing. Suggesting welfare is why we don't have more missiles is embarrassing. Philp jeering while PM is trying to list evacuation flights is embarrassing. They are embarrassing, yet somehow NOT embarrassED.

Edgar Wright’s Finnegan’s Wake.

The manager was telling this fella that some bands playing the following week were quite a variety so he was bound to see something he liked. The fella said “Well I’m not expecting Nat King Cole!”, to which I replied “Yes, ‘cause he’s dead.” The ensuing pause was delicious.

I haven’t quite gotten to pissing people off, but I can trigger some amazing stunned silences.

Mark Zuckerberg presenting his Pervert Glasses for perverts

I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius