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Mark Granger

@markgranger

Writes a bit TV/RADIO: The Weakest Link, The News Quiz, The Skewer, DMs Are Open, Breaking The News Fiction: Secrets Of The Majestic, foofaraw, Behind The Revolving Door Vol2 Poetry: Qualia Nous Vol2, Fumptruck markgranger.com https://linktr.ee/markgranger

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24.07.2023
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Latest posts by Mark Granger @markgranger

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TOMORROW!

THE EXORCISM AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE is out!! Ahhh!

I’ll be signing it at Golden Apple in LA.

10.03.2026 21:51 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I want to do a remake of that Kenan and Kel film starring the guy who played Mahoney in Police Academy and call it Guttenberger.

09.03.2026 19:31 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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What Brian Saw Many cats had been here before, but Brian was the first to see it for what it really was.

New substack thing:
open.substack.com/pub/mrmarkgr...

08.03.2026 13:06 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

No, you measure the distance to Judgement Day in Edward Furlongs.

08.03.2026 13:03 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Fun fact: The best way to measure children is in Robert Miles.

08.03.2026 10:11 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

This is what social media is for. Popping in for 5 seconds, seeing a video of Crime Traveller, thinking "I used to love that." then getting away from social media before the rot sets in.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.

01.03.2026 18:27 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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Buttons β€œWhere are the buttons?” said Argely, failing to hide the frustration in his voice.

New Substack thing
open.substack.com/pub/mrmarkgr...

26.02.2026 17:55 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Is it Barry Keoghan or Ezra Miller?

I will never guess right first time.

26.02.2026 11:48 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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All Downhill From Here The wind was harsh on his face, the cold cruel on his joints, but he persisted.

New Substack thing.
mrmarkgranger.substack.com/p/all-downhi...

19.02.2026 10:34 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Mark Granger | Substack I am a writer. I write comedy for TV and radio, and I write a bunch of other things.

Doing a substack.
It will be almost exclusively 100 Word Stories at least once a week.
Check it out if you want.
substack.com/@mrmarkgranger

11.02.2026 18:59 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Hey! I like Mel C.

05.02.2026 18:15 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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Very proud to have written a joke for The Weakest Link that got this reaction out of Johnny Vegas.

02.02.2026 08:49 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Got some very stupid poems in this Stupid Poetry Zine.
One is probably the stupidest thing I've written.

28.01.2026 18:35 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A picture of me at the beach.
I'm wearing a blue cap and a dark blue hoodie.
I'm almost certainly wearing trousers and shoes too but they aren't in the photo.

A picture of me at the beach. I'm wearing a blue cap and a dark blue hoodie. I'm almost certainly wearing trousers and shoes too but they aren't in the photo.

Sometime I wish I knew how to use social media so people would engage with my stuff and maybe hire me for work.

But then I realise I hate social media.

Anyway.

This is me.

www.markgranger.com

13.01.2026 19:40 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Interior artists! Drop your portfolios!

@heatherantos.bsky.social (and Rai) will be reviewing shortly.

03.12.2025 21:46 πŸ‘ 17 πŸ” 14 πŸ’¬ 14 πŸ“Œ 0
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The Day The Noise Ended β€” MARK GRANGER Sound fell out of the world. Just a decibel at a time at first. Then in huge chunks.

This is my favourite.
www.markgranger.com/100-words-1/...

03.12.2025 17:29 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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100 Words β€” MARK GRANGER

And if you like my stories, I have over a hundred 100 word stories here.
www.markgranger.com/100-words-1

03.12.2025 17:19 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

This is out.
Which is nice.
Check it out, along with everything else of mine that is available here:
www.markgranger.com/fiction

03.12.2025 17:10 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Weird eye related lyrics that annoy me:

1. "Look me in the eyeball" - Love The Way You Lie: Eminem ft. Rihanna. Dude, you're a lyrical genius, but nobody has ever said look me in the eyeball.

2. "I wanna kiss your eyes" - Shivers: Ed Sheeran. Do people do this? I feel weird just thinking about it.

02.12.2025 10:26 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Sanctuary is top tier Di'Anno. You are a fool.
It was added to the '98 remasters, don't know why it's not on streaming.
I'm only writing this because I'm procrastinating from work.
I don't really care.
But this has reminded me to actually listen to the podcast. I'd forgotten it existed.

29.11.2025 21:09 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

🚨And I wrote one of them. So come on and support new narrative comedy. Where else are you getting SIX brand new sitcoms?πŸ‘‡
www.bigfinish.com/releases/v/c...

27.11.2025 10:16 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 2

This is gonna be so fucking good, I can't wait to show people what we've been brewing up the past year

21.11.2025 01:15 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 6 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

Give Chris money to make a book.
The first one was great.
And if it's anything like the first one there'll be about 90% more jokes than your average kids book.

14.10.2025 18:36 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Cover art for Behind the Revolving Door: An Anthology of Choices Vol 2. 
A grey revolving door against a blue wall.

Cover art for Behind the Revolving Door: An Anthology of Choices Vol 2. A grey revolving door against a blue wall.

Behind the Revolving Door: An Anthology of Choices Vol 2 is coming out December 1st.

My story 'The Valley That Wasn't There' will be in it.

So that's cool.

05.11.2025 18:37 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1
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Til All the Pieces Fit, by Scott Sorry from the album When We Were Kings

My favourite of his solo stuff.
scottsorry.bandcamp.com/track/til-al...

30.10.2025 21:06 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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a woman with glasses is standing in front of a door and saying `` i 'm a nice person ! '' ALT: a woman with glasses is standing in front of a door and saying `` i 'm a nice person ! ''

The problem with social media for me, is if I don't see something cool within 5 minutes I'm bored.
Anyway, hire me to write your thing.
I proper nice and everything.

27.10.2025 19:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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New Kickstarter reward!

I’ve added a mini comedy writing guide as a reward option for backers of CHEESE: Lights! Crackers! Action!

Interested in writing comedy? This is for you!

www.kickstarter.com/projects/thi...

20.10.2025 11:08 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1
Flaming Youth
Flaming Youth YouTube video by KISS - Topic

youtu.be/Twa0YIJs9L0?...

17.10.2025 19:08 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Out today! Judge Dread Magazine 485, including a new Armitage story scripted by me, art by @stazjohnson.bsky.social, colours by Quinton Winter and letters by Annie Parkhouse.

There's a serial killer loose in Brit-Cit and everyone's favourite curmudgeon is on strict orders to keep clear...

#ncbd

15.10.2025 09:56 πŸ‘ 17 πŸ” 6 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1

Give Chris money to make a book.
The first one was great.
And if it's anything like the first one there'll be about 90% more jokes than your average kids book.

14.10.2025 18:36 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0