I'd say my coworkers spend about 37% of every day dropping off or picking up their kids from school. They should invent something like a bus that goes to the school and does that for you.
These button fly jeans have really helped me slow down and live in the moment.
A lot of people in business will mistake adding a lot of o's in "thank you soooooooooo much" as adequate compensation for extra work.
PSA: Girl Scout Samoas pair nicely with red wine.
AI trying to stop me from starting sentences with "I think" in emails oh I'm so sure.
The words "Ryan Coogler's X-Files" are so soothing. I've earned this after 32 years of Chris Carter.
For instance, think of how much energy went into the training of the humans in this room who laughed and they still don't know how to be humans. AI not looking like such a catastrophic mistake now, huh?
The man they've cast as JFK, Jr. in Love Story is hot enough to make the stupid hats work and that's really the whole job.
After an internal review, it seems Spotify has misunderstood the data on how many times I've listened to When I Get My Hands On You by The New Basement Tapes which does include Marcus Mumford but NO sons, and which I would prefer be incorrectly attributed as an interest in Bob Dylan.
Got an email from Spotify titled "Mumford & Sons made you something special" that claims I am one of their top listeners. Just want to get ahead of it in case my emails are ever released as part of a wide-ranging criminal investigation: this is not true.
If your mom asks, tell her no.
The girls and I can't wait to absolutely hate the new Wuthering Heights. You win again Emerald Fennell!!
I don't write this nicely with a pen.
Tried to remember what the name of the New Yorker mascot is and came up with Percival Higglebottom and I'm calling it close.
AI Tech Overlords hate this one weird trick! (Using your brain)
Have never looked at the Gemini meeting notes, will never look at the Gemini meeting notes.
Ashton Kutcher is married to Isabella Rossellini. They are evil on an evil yacht.
I almost said "investigate The Substance" but it lacks the restrained subtly of The Substance, so it felt like a misleading comparison.
The Beauty is basically "Mulder and Scully go to Europe to investigate a sex virus that makes you hot and then kills you" and it has me putting up with so much Ryan Murphy nonsense.
There is no right answer to "who is your favorite Beatle?" but there are WRONG answers, and whether you are wrong depends on my personal assessment of the pureness of your heart.
The day that my bangs are neither too short nor too long has aligned with ovulation. I'm unstoppable.
Not the main thing, but I really don't like seeing text messages between world leaders.
The Stranger Things fandom going full QAnon is still pretty fun at this point but I fear they are not done with the descent.
Not enough men trying to be a jeepster for my love, frankly.
2026 Prediction: People start using ChatGPT as an "intimacy coordinator" during dates.
Besides, he would love for his eulogy to be delivered by AI Generated Robert DeNiro
Instead of an explicit lyrics warning on albums I could use a heads up if there is any instruments that sound like sirens.
The sister from Fleabag and her bad haircut.
Did something different with my bangs and it feels like this.
Post-Marty Supreme ladies' room discourse: they liked, but did not love it. Many upset about the dog (who was fine by the way!)
Once again.
