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WST Fake Pitchbot

@wstpitchbot

A parody of American soccer journalism and content creation. Have a tip? DMs open

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17.10.2024
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Latest posts by WST Fake Pitchbot @wstpitchbot

My man is/was(?) a teacher. Surely he understands the purpose of unions…right?

06.03.2026 23:48 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

USL's Winter of Discontent: Why a union busting email is actually a sophisticated tribute to 1980s English football culture

06.03.2026 01:26 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

PLEASE SHARE: As many of you know, I've been helping families in Orlando affected by ICE with food/bills. I met with 2 new families this week, one can't afford groceries and the other is late on rent. Trying to raise $1,000 along w/what I've put together locally. Can send via PayPal/Venmo: @KFoleyFL

03.03.2026 14:19 πŸ‘ 39 πŸ” 52 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 10

Bad news for MLS

26.02.2026 22:14 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

These new NWSL kits are (mostly) incredible! But what are we doing pricing a YOUTH jersey at $110!? In this economy?

26.02.2026 15:59 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

BJ Callaghan would have taken this USMNT to heights never before seen. It's a shame the Fed lost him to Nashville, where he continues to show out.

Here's why the fates of Ramsay and Nancy prove the USMNT can never be managed by a former MLS coach ever again.

By: 11 Yanks

26.02.2026 15:48 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Congratulations to Chris Richards, Folarin Balogun, Matt Freese, Timothy Weah, and Alejandro Zendejas on their World Cup 2026 USMNT roster spots!

26.02.2026 15:22 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Don Garber is playing you again. He demanded Michael Bradley field a team of toddlers to dismantle Orlando, gave a 17 year old player of the matcheeek, and now there are rumors Griezmann is coming to Orlando. Do you not see what’s going on here? Real practitioners see it for what it is.

By: 3four3

24.02.2026 12:21 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Bad news for MLS?

23.02.2026 18:07 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
23.02.2026 04:39 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
a man in a suit is sitting in a chair with a book in front of him and the website sharktankgifts.com is visible ALT: a man in a suit is sitting in a chair with a book in front of him and the website sharktankgifts.com is visible
23.02.2026 04:28 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

How dare someone release raw off field footage of Lionel Messi’s postgame assault on the referee crew before the league office had an opportunity do a full forensic analysis of Messi’s exact coordinates.

By: Favian Renkel

23.02.2026 03:43 πŸ‘ 20 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 2

🀀

23.02.2026 02:17 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

After reviewing the post match footage from the Inter Miami vs. LAFC match it’s clear the referee demonstrated a complete lack of respect. You don’t just walk away from the greatest of all time. The entire crew, including the VAR, should be fined for conduct detrimental to the league.

22.02.2026 23:24 πŸ‘ 16 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I could win MLS with an average MLS Next Pro team. Not because of the talent level but because of the tactical schooling players receive in Next Pro. Just look at my RBNY team, they do a ton of basic things right and decoded this league in no time.

By: Michael Bradley

22.02.2026 01:05 πŸ‘ 43 πŸ” 10 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Really putting himself out on a limb

22.02.2026 02:45 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I’m looking at the MLS sidelines on matchday 1, and all I see is a sea of laptops and guys who look like they’re waiting for an Excel spreadsheet to tell them when to sub. This league has officially traded its soul for PowerPoints. They don't want winners. They want accountants.

By: Eric Wynalda

22.02.2026 02:34 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

My god! Has anyone seen them at the same place at the same time?!

22.02.2026 01:45 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Matthew, with these takes your proximity to Michael Bradley worries me

22.02.2026 01:39 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

I could win MLS with an average MLS Next Pro team. Not because of the talent level but because of the tactical schooling players receive in Next Pro. Just look at my RBNY team, they do a ton of basic things right and decoded this league in no time.

By: Michael Bradley

22.02.2026 01:05 πŸ‘ 43 πŸ” 10 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It’s a risky strategy, Forsberg tends not to show up around kids

22.02.2026 00:10 πŸ‘ 111 πŸ” 20 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 2
Preview
a group of young people are standing next to each other covering their faces with their hands . ALT: a group of young people are standing next to each other covering their faces with their hands .
22.02.2026 00:12 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Michael Bradley really watched those first two MLS games and thought β€œI’m going to win the Shield with the MLS Next Pro side.”

22.02.2026 00:04 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Are MLS Academies producing too many young professional talents?

21.02.2026 23:55 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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But…why? What is this graphic? Why are we torturing fans?

21.02.2026 23:53 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Hell yes

21.02.2026 23:45 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yes!

21.02.2026 23:20 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

β€œFootball developed in countries that didn’t televise matches. If MLS’ broadcast quality gets any worse, US Soccer may finally be heading in the right direction.”
@wstpitchbot.bsky.social

21.02.2026 21:43 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Noahkai Banks USMNT stock just went through the roof during this game

21.02.2026 21:44 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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Can’t believe MLS didn’t post this here

21.02.2026 20:14 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0