Being in physical pain is exhausting
08.11.2025 20:25
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What doesn't kill you, make you darkly sarcastic.
18.11.2023 20:32
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It's okay WiFi connection, I'm unstable too.
13.10.2025 22:38
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So is this place still good enough to scream in to the void?
02.12.2025 23:05
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Doggy style so you can see my anus smiling.
07.06.2025 12:51
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I've made it from the bed to the couch......
I'm ready to seize the day now
06.06.2025 00:19
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I have gas, grass and ass. I cannot be stopped.
07.06.2025 11:56
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I used to manage a dildo factory.
We had a lot of trouble with female squatters.
07.06.2025 00:02
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Handjob them to completion, but the load is millions of little bananas, & Donkey Kong appears.
*distant sounds of the Super Mario Party theme*
28.04.2025 16:35
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Rich people lie. How do you think they got there hmmm
06.06.2025 02:37
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I go to wine tastings and spit it into the air like Triple H
04.06.2025 17:43
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My trick is to make my indoor clothes also my outdoor clothes.
05.06.2025 13:38
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I think I'm over this being human thing
05.06.2025 01:46
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I'm a big advocate for not getting involved in anything that requires wearing 'outside' clothes.
05.06.2025 13:27
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You can always count on me to be openly honest about my stupidity.
05.06.2025 11:57
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Good morning.
Don’t say it back.
22.05.2025 14:54
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I ate bran flakes today so my gut health better be on point for the next two weeks
05.06.2025 13:26
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You can identify as a stegosaurus for all I care but do not try and pass off cauliflower as fucking rice
05.06.2025 13:21
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Jumping to conclusions? With these knees?
05.06.2025 13:09
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Me, to my pillow: did you cum?
05.06.2025 01:11
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I'm old, but not rinsing a Ziplock plastic bag to reuse it later because it wasn't that dirty, old.
04.06.2025 09:28
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relationship status: sending myself nudes
21.05.2025 23:48
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Not to brag but all my nudes involve food.
03.06.2025 21:14
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Is that a ham in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
20.04.2025 19:13
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Amazing news. Congratulations ❤️
04.06.2025 09:38
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Some people look so much better wearing sunglasses.
Others, ski masks.
03.06.2025 02:32
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Make it look like you're bobbing for apples while you're down there.
03.06.2025 23:36
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I've been single for so long that my type isn't even my type anymore
03.06.2025 19:13
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