Goopie

Slightly nerdy guy who smells of pencil shavings: "Help! Someone has split off their own version of my Earthboud sequel github project!"

Johnny Coolhands, Median Range Detective: "Looks like we're dealing with a real Mother Fourker."

Maybe I should doodle things again.

This is a threat.

"Can you beat Final Fantasy V but Lenna is a vampire and must use Blood Suck on every human enemy in the game."

"Can you beat Link to the Past as a bee salesman."

"Can you beat SotN by delivering a piping hot pizza to Dracula in 30 minutes or less."

If I just started streaming games with like impossible restrictions without even the promise they'd actually be able to be completed, would people even want to watch?

"Tonight we're seeing how many mario games we can beat without jumping."

"Ah fack goopie's doin' stupid shit again."

My son, 9, has a weird imagined rivalry with John Pork who is something like a horror villain but he is not scared of him

Like today he goes, “I can’t believe I ding dong ditched John Pork. He called me a brat, and the A-word.”

God, I love Mona so much, I wish Genshin was just about her and Fischl and Klee.

Mona, my poor girl, you've been hiding yourself for nothing...

If the user is affected by Throat Chop, it will immediately calm down at the end of the turn.

Me, earlier today: "I should play a video game today"

Me, eight hours of internet media later: "Fack, I forgot to play a video game."

Need me a woman like Chiyari Tenkajin.

They call me the goopy gadabout.

Shit I don't wanna go to work tomorrow.

🚨 THERE'S A CAT IN THE HOME DEPOT 🚨

Man everyone is playing pokemon.
I should play pokemon on stream again.

Every time your imposter syndrome flares up, remember that the technical advisor to Bluesky tried to cool off their phone by submerging it in water (Enormously Stupid Thing #1) and then admitted it on social media (Enormously Stupid Thing #2).

You are better and smarter than SO many people.

I really like Amy Rose with her new glasses.

I think that guy's lost every single hypothetical power scaling Vs match up video I've seen him in, so it would probably happen.

You ever just, I dunno, want to drink a whole bunch of soda some days? Like, tbh I probably drink too much already, but today I'm just guzzling this shit down, it tastes so good today...

Tree of Might is probably the funniest DB movie. Literally nobody but Goku gets any work done. The entire gang gets the shit kicked out of them by the mook crew, then Goku just instantly shithouses all of them when he shows up. I'd kill myself

Yes! I constantly get videos that are like 10+ years old. Sometimes it's fun seeing something from the past I remember, but most of the time it's, like, an Onion video or something.

I'm guessing they replaced the regular suggestion algo with some AI crap, like everything else on the site, and it's way over-tuned. Now instead of serving a variety of things it just completely focuses on the last few things you looked at. And they make manually searching for anything impossible.

Oh you're using the search bar to look for something? Here's 3 slightly related videos. Wait, are you sure you don't want to watch something else? Here, we've put the ProJared Plays Final Fantasy II video right here in your search results. Please watch it. Please just watch ProJared play FFII.

You watched Youtube short of a batman cartoon clip. Here's another batman short. Here's a justice league short. Here's another batman clip but for some reason the bottom of the screen just has a guy staring forward and slightly down. Is he watching the clip too? Here's ProJared Plays FFII.

You saw the pokemon direct. Here's a video about 20 things you definitely didn't know about pokemon. Here's a video about how the pokemon trailer lied to you. Here's five videos where a guy says you should hate Pokemon. Here's a video about how pokemon should have guns. Here's ProJared plays FFII.

Your friend linked you a video about Roman fig dishes. Here's a video about medieval tavern meals. Here's a video about perpetual stew. Here's a video about cornish pudding. Here's a video where a guy eats WWII rations. Are you sure you don't want to watch the ProJared Plays Final Fantasy II video?

Looked up a Final Fantasy III Speedrun? Well here's the 5 things you didn't know about FF7 video. Here's the video asking if Squall's dead. Here's an 11 year old ProJared Plays Final Fantasy II video. Here's Final Fantasy IV. Here's Final Fantasy Type 0. Sure you don't want to watch ProJared?

Man, Youtube's algorithm is such shit now. Felt like a few years ago it was constantly giving me new stuff but now it just like looks at the last thing you watched and tries to serve you as much of that as possible.

What, you looked up a Mario 64 video? Well you're basically watching MarioTube now