SOTUS

Literally every single fuckin’ time can’t even be mad at it anymore I’m so damn tired.

As a millennial, I can’t help but laugh at the fact that as soon as I finally got a job that pays enough for me to climb out of a hole and actually start putting my family in a good position for our future, we end up in another war in the middle east that will cripple our economy.

Trump says regime change in Cuba is ‘question of time’ after Iran Trump administration has tightened sanctions meant to degrade Cuban economy and threatened to topple government.

I REPEAT STAY IN LINE

www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/...

Statistically a decent likelihood your kids will die first and directly because you brought a loaded gun into a space you share with them but hey no need to have that conversation mamas

Of course!

Once again reiterating that my job is looking to backfill my in-house position when I leave next week and I’d be delighted to pass along the info to anybody interested - pays in the $120k to $145k range, and was my ticket out of billable hours. Could be yours too, maybe?

We don’t spend enough time talking about how incredibly fucking stupid the name Markwayne is actually

I did not get the judgeship I applied for, which is the 36th thing I’ve applied to in the last year that I’ve been told “No, lol” on from a job perspective and I gotta be honest, what I have learned from this experience is that I’m actually pretty fuckin good at dealing with rejection.

Ashley is watching this “Call Her Daddy” podcast with Sarah J. Maas, and it has reminded me instantly that my least favorite affectation is people who use the word “like” as a comma. I had an English teacher who used to call people out on this by going “still waiting on that simile!”

Everything feels extremely dystopian.

IF YOU ARE IN LINE TO VOTE, LIE ABOUT WHEN YOU GOT IN LINE.

“I’m not scared because I know who protects us” is an all timer lmao

It would require that I care a lot more about a stranger’s ideal dining scenario than I care about being around my family and I would not sell the bike shop over that ever being a possibility.

“I paid for a nice meal I don’t want to hear your kid” ok well I too am also paying for a nice meal and I am not doing so on the express condition that your preferences are catered to lmao move to The Villages then

Last week Ashley told me she wanted a steak so on a lark we went to one of the nicest steakhouses in Denver and she was commenting about bringing the baby in and going in after running errands and I said “I bet our money still spends just fine” and you know what, turns out, it did.

I think my greatest development as a parent is genuinely not giving a fuck what anybody else thinks about us bringing a kid places because I had a kid I didn’t die so we’re gonna go that restaurant.

Introduce yourself with 5 cars you've owned

2005 Cadillac Escalade
1999 Jaguar XJR
2004 Mercedes SLK 32 AMG
1999 BMW 328i
1999 Jaguar XK8

(the other nine not included)

Notably, the Dow is now less than 50,000.

Important to note that Pete Hesgeth is what happens when you build a human being out of pure gear and 80 proof.

Notably, the Dow is now less than 50,000.

Screenshot of text: First, it’s a mistake to say that Trump got America into war on Saturday. What he did was respond to a war that Iran has been waging against the United States since 1979.

Cool hey did anything happen *before* 1979 between the United States and Iran

“That’s the way it is” says the one guy exclusively responsible for the way it is.

This person looks more like Lindsey Graham than Jim Carrey looks like Jim Carrey so I’m counting it as confirmed.

Had no idea Lindsey Graham was a mom.

IF YOU ARE IN LINE FOR A REGIME CHANGE - STAY IN LINE.

THE TIMES. THEY ARE A CHANGIN’.

I did not expect that of all the weird conspiracy theories circulating a day after we went to war with Iran to cover up the Epstein files, that “Jim Carey has been replaced with a body double by globalist elites” would be the one to float to the surface.

The most brutal takedown of the current U.S. government ever broadcast on TV:

“The U.S. government is a vicious imperialist government that attacks other countries and kills little children. Iran understands it is fighting the Epstein class that either rapes little girls or bombs them.”

I’ve said for a long time that the thing missing from US presidents committing to wars with a grotesque overconfidence is actually big fuckin stupid baseball hats.