bæ grylls

I am the rose you relinquished.

Maybe some journalling too but part of me feels like this is worth elaborating on in the epilogue of my unfinished memoir.

Tonight feels like a great night to sink all of my activated state of being into the latest beats I've been working on.

I mean... if it's reassurance you're seeking? Yes. If it's encouragement you're after; specifically in the form of insider baseball references only two select close friends know and regularly use as part of their shared daily lexicon?

Girl, I said that shit in like... 1998.

But listen, yeah... I ain't even gotta rap, word to WESTSIDE GUNN.

I don't know who needs to hear this but flippantly referring to nations the United States of America invaded or attacked on disingenuous grounds of regime change, lying about weapons of mass destruction, or having the gall to resist American corporate exploit them as "violent people" is... a choice.

Imagine being Billy Corgan in the year of somebody's lord two thousand and twenty six.

Whatever you say I am, you're either projecting or your analysis is insufficient.

Whatever you say I'm not, you're either projecting or your observations are myopic in scope.

Regardless, I am what I am and I am not done.

Here's to the next forty years, universe willing.

I have survived so many things from childhood abuse to domestic abuse. From multiple suicide attempts to cancer. From a lifelong struggle with clinical depression to common assault.

I am not just a lover. I am a fighter. I am a survivor.

I am proof that I am more than anyone's fleeting judgement.

It'll be two weeks since I turned 40 years old this Friday. I don't think anyone except a handful of individuals who know, love, and cherish me to the fullest will truly understand just how much and how often I believed I'd never live to be the age I'm at now.

Yet here I am. Alive and kicking.

Holy shit not only do I looooove sucking cock, I particularly love sucking *this* cock. Wow he fills my mouth so perfectly and completely.... I may be wet just writing this...

Feat. @theauracle.bsky.social

Just a quick clip from last night

Feat. @theauracle.bsky.social

Soz, couldn't hear all that mardy arse jealousy riddled commentary over the fact that I beat a rare blood cancer, feeling great, and I'm just getting started on my vindication lap. I don't care if you're sick of nonsense. No more holding back. No amnesty period. No shrinking because YOU'RE insecure.

I'm not going to disparage anyone but I don't see why I should lean into a learned affectation like modesty or feign humility in response to the anxieties and insecurities of people who weren't brave enough to love me or show up for me.

My triumph is mine. Your actions are yours to live with.

So since entering remission on 31 December 2025, I have gone full throttle into 2026 with an absolute refusal to be modest about anything. The sense of triumph [amongst other intense feelings] that is coursing my veins isn't intoxicating, no no no.

It's vindicating in the extreme.

Is this heaven? It feels like heaven.

📷&🍆 By @theauracle.bsky.social

It's official. I'm in remission. I did it.

It also makes me more curious whenever they believe me to be "intimidating."

Is it that I'm "intimidating" or is it that I'm not easy to manipulate? Is it that I'm "intimidating" or is it I'm rather knowledgeable and intelligent? Is it that I'm "intimidating" or is it that you're insecure?

When I started getting in the habit of assuming a lot of people project their fears and insecurities on to me, I stopped taking their deeming me "intimidating" personally.

i won't deny it: my mental health plummetted into a familiar yet abysmal place I've not been for years. frankly and without going into too much detail, i didn't want to be here any more. make of that what you will... but know that I'm still here.

somehow, some way... onward. always.

Just a moment from my like 18 hour fuck session with @theauracle.bsky.social
#nsfw #nsfwsky #spicysky #transporn #analsex

I feel like I spent basically all weekend either sleeping or in this position. I regret nothing.
Incredible dick provided by @theauracle.bsky.social

Long story, short; I've cum 15 times and the night isn't over yet.

Giving my friend a blowjob till he nuts in my mouth. I'm a good girl! Let me show you!
#nsfw #transporn #blowjob

suffer.

In fairness, I hope one day we can collaborate and create that kind of content together 😈

The battle isn't yet over but remission is very much looking more like an inevitability compared to a fleeting goal earlier this year.

I remain defiant. I remain courageous. I remain.

Onward. Always. 💖💜💙

That said, the second tumour is still gone (having been excised during my chemo run in April '25).The adaema is virtually non-existent. The original tumour is now the smallest it has ever been, going from the size of roughly a fifty pence piece to it fitting in the centre of a dime.

Two years ago, I began defiantly fighting back in another kind of an invisible civil war. This is why I'm so reflective in the photo because if you told me that August 2025 would be confirming this is the closest to remission yet, I'd have been skeptical and scoffed in your face.

(🎵 The Collective)

reflection.
#newprofilepic