swilse, etc. 🇵🇸

Sometimes it’ll be a 70° in March where you’re driving home from work windows down listening to Collide With The Sky and time shifts and suddenly you’re 15 again sitting in the passenger seat of @pettylittleles.bsky.social’s Chevy cobalt

Unfortunately, “Yo brother, legal team confirmed we can’t work with minors rn” is an instant classic

I tend to follow traffic laws but this morning I fully rolled a stop sign just to cut off a waymo. Call that the St. Louis Welcome.

burning incense and playing Gregorian chants from the YouTube app on my phone to help my computer launch Adobe Illustrator

None of them are bold enough to call me unc but I know they’re thinking it

Enough time has passed that the college students who work for me don’t get my vine references so I’d like to be put out to pasture now

pam bondi is a raggedy ass bitch

Don’t look at my bulletin board.

it just can’t all be this connected, right? I’m just recognizing patterns where others don’t again, right?

glad I am well medicated because I think the current news cycle would be sending me into psychosis otherwise

we can’t have anything in this fucking country

they should invent a kind of substance abuse for medically complex people so I can just go back to doing that instead

idk what to call this but it sure isn’t coping

update: it’s only gotten worse but I haven’t quit yet because I keep forcing myself to picture telling the students goodbye until I’m on the verge of a panic attack

Idk, and I made a typo in my original post too. But I am a higher education professional and now also a grad student. You have to understand what that does to a person.

Is OB3 a colloquially used term for that pedophile’s stupid fucking bill or was that just made up by the guys who work in the financial services part of my university

A list of degrees program types that were reclassified from “professional” to “graduate” under the One Big Beautiful Bill Act: Nursing Physician assistants Physical therapists Audiologists Architects Accountants Educators Social workers

Here’s a list of degree program types that were reclassified from professional to “graduate under OB3. 6/8 of them are mandated reporters.

OB3 also eliminated Grad PLUS loans + significantly lowered annual and lifetime borrowing limits for grad students.

The president is in the Epstein files.

I want to tear these people apart with my hands and teeth like an animal but unfortunately my species has evolved to the point of developing legal frameworks and social policy

Disco Elysium Half Light

becoming a mandated reporter while the president is in the Epstein files

The bits will resume eventually but I just need everyone to know how morally reprehensible it is that once I complete this 2hr training, I will be personally held to a higher legal responsibility than *elected officials* have demonstrated when it comes to protecting children from abuse.

Give swilse A Big Sword 2026

And it’s not even an equal playing field! Most of those guys can only be accessed in rooms that are *full* of guns and I’m not allowed to have one!

I just can’t sit here and pretend it’s not sickening to know that it will become my professional responsibility to protect children from monsters within a system governed by monsters, and those who are professionally obligated to protect them from people like me.

completing my state’s mandated reporter training, which is called Protect MO Kids, while my elected officials (Josh Hawley, et al) have and continue to enable the presidency of a guy who is in the Epstein files.

that’s it. not every post can be for the bit.

releasing my autistic partner into my university’s library with the caring gentleness of a wildlife rehabber

I actually thoroughly enjoyed Iron Lung and think it’s the perfect example for how to do cosmic horror effectively in film. I plan to write a long form review of it once there’s a digital release and I can rewatch it. But first I have to get all these jokes out of my system.

My second favorite part was when he looked dead straight at the camera and said “hello everybody, my name is Markiplier”

For what it’s worth, after my grandma had her med card appointment and learned about all the benefits, she told my mom she felt bad for always telling her and my uncle to “not do weed”

my favorite part of iron lung was when Markiplier himself personally coded the lights in my local theater (inside a dying mall) to flicker at random times. he really thought of everything.