Slipknot Travels To India To Begin Psychedelic, Free-Love Phase Of Career
Slipknot Travels To India To Begin Psychedelic, Free-Love Phase Of Career https://theonion.com/slipknot-travels-to-india-to-begin-psychedelic-free-love-phase-of-career/
Pam Bondi wasn't going to answer any questions today. We all knew that in advance. People can watch the hearing if they want to, but the idea that this is an Attorney General testifying before Congress is laughable. This is just a Trump personal lawyer putting on a performance for her client on TV.
U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat Pentagon Claims Little Red Vessel Working With ‘Narco-Terrorists’
U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat https://theonion.com/u-s-military-carries-out-strike-on-scuffy-the-tugboat/
Tips For Making Friends As An Adult Start calling your parents by their first names.
Tips For Making Friends As An Adult https://theonion.com/tips-for-making-friends-as-an-adult/
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.
Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.
Only at The Onion on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU.
Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back
Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/
I guess irony is not quite dead yet….
Funny cuz it’s true?
Everyone In Symphony Audience Has Finger Cocked Under Beer Can Tab For First Sign of Crescendo
Randy Faber, 49, died Saturday after a horn impaling his chest confirmed his severe rhino allergy.
The praise (yes, *praise*) by CNN for Pam Bondi is stunning, given that this was the most startlingly unprofessional public performance by an Attorney General in at least a century: "Bondi fended off questions....using quick-one liners to deflect and personal attacks to push back against Democrats."
The subhed here is a master class in corporate journalism rewarding malfeasance via semantics
Bondi didn't valiantly fend something off, she refused to answer legitimate questions before Congress because the answers would be horrifying and politically inconvenient
And that's a profile in cowardice
This PROOF report shows how every law enforcement priority Trump and his team have selected is about removing protections from kids. This case is in line with that—and tells you everything you need to know about the relationship Team Trump has with the notion of protecting kids from abuse by adults.
The world, & especially the US is going so completely corrupt, insane, & completely unlawful, but the “SC” seems to have no problem & Clarence openly killed Stare Decisis, so bye-bye all non-conservative Red State friendly rulings.
bsky.app/profile/seth...
The reason this therapy is used on kids is because it's often abusive, coercive, manipulative and dangerous—no kid would choose it if they had adult faculties, making Justices' claims that the therapy is "voluntary" profoundly misleading. And the idea that therapy has no medical component is insane.
This photo of red troops from Texas invading Illinois over a fake emergency is raising some significant questions for those who watched the televised address Pete Kegstand gave to hundreds of generals, admirals and commanders recently, a speech that already lives in infamy as the "No Fatties Speech"
Post of the day IMO
Every nonwhite woman is in his head every day
As much as any man who has lived since the 1800s, this one cannot deal with strong women and *particularly* cannot deal with strong women of color existing in public let alone challenging him
Men have had 10,000 years to lead humanity, and that interminable epoch led to this equally interminable concert.
I think we—I mean men—are officially done.
This concert was our grand finale.
Women—and only women—should lead the world for the next 10,000 years. Let’s see where that gets humanity.
Though I'm a Musk biographer, I can't make the following claim with certainty—only contend that it's informed speculation.
I don't think Musk thinks *we're* in a simulation.
I think Musk thinks *he's* in a simulation.
Take a moment to process what that means about the value of human life to Musk.
Darth Frumpy is unilaterally declaring which colleges, students, class subjects with the penalty of losing all funding if they refuse (article in next post).
Screenshot of Moderation settings with an arrow pointing to “Muted words & tags”
Quick Tip: Did you know you can hide posts by keywords? Under Settings → Moderation → Muted Words & Tags, set keywords you never want to see. Perfect for avoiding spoilers! 🙈
Report: Your Naked Body Will Make Entire Morgue Laugh
Report: Your Naked Body Will Make Entire Morgue Laugh https://theonion.com/report-your-naked-body-will-make-entire-morgue-laugh/
Given the deliberately inept way the US stages its elections, welcomes gerrymandering and tolerates the electoral college, American democracy was always a contradiction in terms. But what else can you call armed masked gangs disappearing people from the streets but American fascism?
This is the most compelling case I’ve seen yet that America is no longer a democracy but an authoritarian state.
Not a *soon-to-be* authoritarian state—a *current* one.
I am reading the Maxwell Transcript and it is the biggest pile of bullshit I have ever encountered in my 25 years as a lawyer
(🚨) The seventh book in the NYT-bestselling Proof Series is PROOF OF DEVILRY: THE CRIMES OF DONALD TRUMP, GHISLAINE MAXWELL, AND JEFFREY EPSTEIN.
It is so large and robustly sourced—it’s a 600-page epic—that it’s being released in three parts (on 8/17, 8/24, and 8/31).
Below is Book One.
Trump, Zelensky Sit Across From Each Other In Awkward Silence At Georgetown Cupcake
Trump, Zelensky Sit Across From Each Other In Awkward Silence At Georgetown Cupcake
Sam Altman Places Gun To Head After New GPT Claims Dogs Are Crustaceans For 60th Time
Sam Altman Places Gun To Head After New GPT Claims Dogs Are Crustaceans For 60th Time theonion.com/sam-alt...
