Danielle

Don’t forget a heroin addict for 14 years beginning when his brain was still developing.

Ha!

13 years later and I now make deposits in the lobby of the building where I was first hired, 2 offices ago.

Right? I want to knock and say, pardon me but you smell delightful!

One of the joys of rowhome living is walking by a house that uses expensive laundry detergent.

Psyching myself up to put on jeans.

Holding his head high I see.

Because lewandowski looks like a ferret yet bags everyone.

The Earth would surely split in half from my puking.

Does this mean Markwayne is now having an affair with Corey Lewandowski?

There’s one parked outside the pretzel factory in my neighborhood (I assume it’s an employee) and their anti theft device is a full on tire boot.

You’re allowed to run a red light as long as you tap the horn a few times real quick while you’re doing it.

Good thing he’s the secretary of Homeland security because he’s clueless otherwise.

Listen, the name is Mark or Wayne. You can’t have both.

You gotta believe that, if there is an afterlife, RFK Sr. Is doing the opposite of bragging.

AI said AI.

I can’t say I blame you. 🙁

Perhaps he was a connoisseur of Spanish music?

Honestly

Ahhhh man I remember when we didn’t go into Iraq because Saddam maybe wanted to assassinate Bush Sr.

😭

1000000%

John Candy never got to hear the Macarena.

Eric and Jr seem fit enough as well!

Want to make Bittersweet Symphony my alarm tone but don’t want to grow to dread hearing it.

All that screaming gives me a headache.

John Oliver makes my blood cells cringe.

Ha!

How do you gently ask someone to STFU in the group chat?

Part 2 gave us the hit Bobby brown classic “On Our Own.”