Rae 🦋

Thank you so much 💖

I stare into the pool at my feet,
nostalgia threatens to take hold.
Endeavouring to escape the past,
my reflection breaks as I toss my stone.

My beginning may not have been magical,
but my ending will surely be #enchanted.
Because I will mould it as I wish,
to make it everything it should.

#vss365

I hope that next week I will have a video of me performing the femicide poem I have spent all afternoon crafting. Until then, please accept this small expression of desolation while I think about how the world treats those it would not survive without.

Today, I cannot write a poem about love, hope, or joy.

Today, all I can think about are the women and girls
who are hurt and murdered by those who are
supposed to love them most.

Today, there is a #lacuna deep in my heart,
and I cannot imagine it will ever fill again.

#vss365

Oh, don't mind me, I'm just sobbing while writing a poem about femicide and the treatment of women in the modern age :)

When I entered this world the moon shone full and bright illuminating and revealing all My bulbous mother led there hands circling her stomach a perfect reflection from above She would whisper in my ear cradling my growing body that she had swallowed the moon And passed it to me as I exited her to become the inhabitant of myself to shine brightly in the world When the #dark days descend I turn my face to the sky and smile to show the world what lies within #vss365

#vss365 #dark

A quick beginning
messy, too
but worth it all
to be with you

Held every flaw
you saw it all
gone are the days
I swore I'd fall

Hand in hand
#touch to touch
eternity with you
will never be enough

#vss365

Do not call me a #ghost.
Speak, if you must, of my
spectral complexion. Comment
on the spirits dancing lethargically
inside my pupils. Whisper about how
the fire was extinguished inside me.
But do not call me a ghost. For I am
much more akin to a poltergeist
and I must warn you: I do bite.

#vss365

#pain
deep in my chest
breath caught
a feeling
I can't escape
agony
flaming over my skin
words taste thick
ash on my tongue
tormenting
memories, fleeting
I have laboured myself
for you, although
you will claim
you did not ask me
to and so it grows,
continually
#pain

#vss365

You speak with such loving conviction
that your words get rubbed into my skin
an ointment designed to #soothe
the hypervigilance of my soul
bringing with it intense longing
to see in myself all of the beauty
that you claim emanates from me.

#vss365

I look at you through the windowpane
open my mouth to speak, but in vain.
Ears pricking at the #thrum of the rain
heart thudding, fear takes over again.
If you never meant to cause me pain,
why did you make me feel so insane?
In the end, I have nothing to gain
there's only myself to blame.

#vss365

Today brings me the thought of you. Thoughts I would have already pushed aside, if only I held the power. Today brings me the memory of you. Memories of your actions, hand-picked to #obfuscate and destroy my reality. Today brings me the spirit of you. Spirits that hover over my shoulder, pressing you deep into my core. Yes, today will be imbued with you. But the sun will rise again tomorrow, and with it, your memory will fade. #vss365

#vss365 #obfuscate

The agony of self-control
blooms within our breasts
evading feelings like it's sport
yet helplessly we stand
together, every caress
lingers incessantly until
no more can we deny
our breathing intertwines
watching your lips #quiver
our eyes meet and finally
I can feel you forget her

#vss365

dreamy beginnings
of hyperfixation
overcumbered
swirling passions
optimistic foundation

the passage of time
with no explanation
a #wane of enthusiasm
thrills left behind, hidden
in impossible restoration

desolation grows
with procrastination
kneeling defeat
warm intimacy
a lost sensation

#vss365

#Wane

what i want to say is:
I used to think
we just disagreed

that you hated taxes
and I thought maybe
feeding the poor
was a good idea

what i mean is:
when you looked
for every excuse
for murder

something happened
to my faith

#vss365

I know you hate it
here, trapped on
the threshold, one
foot stuck in the
before, the other
stuck in later,
confined within
your thoughts,
no way out, your
present frozen.
Take a breath, my
dear, allow yourself
some peace and see
that the #cusp
truly is a beautiful
place to be.

#vss365

Thank you ❤️

the small whispers
of your brains' #ruse
to make you believe
you're so much less
than you, because
what it doesn't
want you to know
is that you are more
than just your thoughts;
but you breathe in tandem
with the trees, my love,
let that always be
enough.

#vss365

often I #slip inside
the shadow of myself
and here, where it is cosy
and warm and safe, I can breathe
cocooning in my memories
germinated seeds bloom
hope blossoms bright
with the unity
of being

#vss365

I am enamoured by the existence of the red dot and how it has changed the entire framing of the picture, especially since I used the same one on X and it is dot-free.

All hail the red dot, may she reign again

When I think of Father Past and the way he likes to #loom a sickness tightens my throat my tongue sits thick and heavy His shadow arms circle me his weight bears down on mine a clammy scent infests my nose with gentle promises to never let go But I don't want to live with him I don't want to let him in but the water's raising all around and I've forgotten how to swim #vss365

#vss365 #loom

violet fizzles
on my tongue
rainbows dripped
in sherbert
cherry-filled
lovebombs
sickly sweet
in my veins
your sweet lies
glaze my vision
and with a sigh
I breathe them in
though I submit
myself to you,
secretly, I pray
for freedom
for me to #veer
away from you
and find my
true completion

#vss365

I will always feel deeply grateful
for this sporadic life of mine.
How could I not? It took years
of violence, pain, and suffering
to live a life this serene. No,
I will never let myself forget
how grateful I am to be living
this #slapdash life of mine,
because it is exactly that:
Mine.

#vss365

#Oddball.
That word has always
felt like violence to me,
wielded by those who
breathed rejection into
my lungs like fresh air.
It clings to my skin,
damp and itchy, trickles
of nervous sweat leaving
salty trails, irritating
my body long after
they have left me behind.

#vss365

The long year finally
is coming to an end,
it's a time to laugh
and sing. To hold your
dear loved ones close,
and bring good fortune
in. I hope the next one
treats you well, and that
it brings you cheer. I hope
you see how special
you are, and that
your #dreams are
always near.

#vss365

Thank you!

it is such a wonderful
exhilarating, terrifying,
fresh and unfamiliar
feeling to open my
journal and realise
that finally it seems
almost too simple
to think of all the things
I have #gratitude for
and to see that
instead of contempt
I feel only deep
appreciation
at the fact
I'm alive

#vss365

poisonous roots
heavy in my chest
they spread
across my insides
tugging incessantly
at my skin

sprouting roots
digging into bone
I cry out
with no sound
walls push in
darkness surrounds

too much for me
to hold these #regrets
it's all I can do
to lie here
weeping
cradling
my hollow chest

#vss365

Triviality sticks
within my memory

warm water flowing
down my bones

melodies sweet
within my ear

glinting sunlight
flashing eyes

days I wished
could last forever

toes stubbing
obdurate furniture

strings of words
that I #recall

but can't repeat
to innocent ears

#vss365

If AI creates an LLM in the middle of the woods, does anyone need to hear it?