camelsandpenguins

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How I Wish Katy Perry Sang In Space

Maybe Twitter needs a Department of Efficiency 😂

Combining all the JD Vance edits into one MegaVance.

Thank God Glenn Beck is doing an X cast. I don’t know how else I could handle this.

Wonder what Team USA is saying in the group chat tonight.

MacKinnon not robbed.

Which is fine.

Binnington robbed.

This is correct.

US the 11th Province now.

Canada better win this shit.

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS IN CASE OF ICE: CONOCE TUS DERECHOS EN CASO DE ENCUENTRO CON ICE:

DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR. ICE cannot enter your home without a warrant signed by a judge. Tell the agents to show you the warrant by sliding it under the door. NO ABRAS TU PUERTA. ICE no puede entrar a tu casa sin una orden firmada por un juez. Diles a los agentes que te muestren la orden deslizándola debajo de la puerta.

ASK THEM TO LEAVE. If ICE doesn't have a warrant, tell them you do not consent for them to enter your home and ask them to leave. At work, ICE cannot enter employee-only areas without permission. 2 PÍDALES QUE SE VAYAN. Si ICE no tiene una orden judicial, diles que no das tu consentimiento para que entren a tu casa y pídeles que se vayan. En el trabajo, ICE no puede ingresar a áreas exclusivas para empleados sin permiso.

REMAIN SILENT. You have the right to remain silent. If the agents ask you questions, tell them, "I wish to remain silent." PERMANECE EN SILENCIO. Tienes derecho a permanecer en silencio. Si los agentes te hacen preguntas, diles: "Deseo permanecer en silencio".

It is perfectly legal to know your rights and to educate others about them, too.

EVERYONE in the United States, citizen or not, has rights. I will not allow this administration to intimidate us from helping you know about them.

Here’s our shareable guide ⬇️: (pt. 1/2)

Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl GLENS FALLS, NY—Breaking its own record after scoring a touchdown to rack up its 600th point within the first quarter, the Boston Dynamics dog appeared unstoppable at the Puppy Bowl, sources confirmed Sunday. “It looks like Nacho is headed into the end zone, and—oh no, another brutal tackle from Spot, the robotic dog!” said game commentator Steve Levy, who clutched his head and winced as the gadget began emitting a high-pitched noise that caused the few still-standing puppies to crumple unconscious to the ground. “Oof, that’s gotta hurt! This is one dog that sure likes to play rough. It’ll be interesting to see what he does with the arm he’s protracting. Good God, Spot, no. That’s the referee! Run, everybody. Run for your lives!” At press time, the robotic dog was reportedly showboating with a victory dance on a pile of its opponents’ corpses.

Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl
theonion.com/super-b...

“Fly Eagles Fly. The haters have arrived.” #nflmemes #NFL #Chargers #Broncos #Raiders #Chiefs #Eagles #flyeaglesfly

Whoever just hit Mahomes should get MVP!

Trump gets elected and we get a pick six by a white cornerback in the Super Bowl.

Mitch McConnell Vows To Continue Falling Down Stairs In Face Of Fascist Takeover

Mitch McConnell Vows To Continue Falling Down Stairs In Face Of Fascist Takeover
theonion.com/mitch-mcconn...

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. If you didn’t I already submitted the list of known whistleblowers to Boeing.

Sorry Bengals.

The reason Silicon Valley is so powerful and annoying is because Oakland lost their sports teams. Without raider fans acting as an apex predator the nerds became too abundant

Wait, I have to do a whole year again?! Wtf, man…

You can clean dirt from under nails, Vi. What the fuck are you talking about?

The Musk/Grimes romance didn’t last but it’s still beautiful that two people who are stupid in the exact same way found each other

Is everyone going to vomit in this episode of Arcane?

Noah Eagle is grammatically incorrect. It should be No, An Eagle.