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Laurazepam

@laurazepam

I just do whatever the cats tell me to

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Followers 158
Following 171
Posts 14.05.2023
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Latest posts by Laurazepam @laurazepam

Little shenanigans!

26.06.2025 19:20 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Dating in the year 2025

Him: hey wanna meet up?

Me: sure! what day works for you

[days later]

Me: hey there, are you still interested in meeting?

Him: whoawhoawhoa you’re being very pushy rn

21.06.2025 22:08 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Me: ya no I’m totally cool with it

Narrator: she was not in fact, ya no totally cool with it

29.04.2025 21:27 👍 17 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0

It fits him :)

20.04.2025 22:24 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Canada gooses be geesin

20.04.2025 18:38 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
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And then there was Nox

20.04.2025 18:37 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Went on holiday for 4 days, came back Sat and this was Bagel’s reaction. I’m the worst

20.04.2025 18:36 👍 70 🔁 1 💬 8 📌 1

Thanks! :)

06.04.2025 00:26 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Look at him

05.04.2025 15:53 👍 71 🔁 1 💬 4 📌 0

Reddit keeps suggesting r/menopause and I’m about to pause my life

05.04.2025 04:39 👍 20 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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Gm from your favorite bagel

18.02.2025 16:36 👍 32 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

My brain all day: *aggressively anxious thoughts*

My brain at 11pm when I’m trying to sleep: abra-cadab-abracadaaabra! feel the beat under your feet, the floor's on fire! abra-cadab-abracadaaabra!

05.02.2025 16:35 👍 28 🔁 5 💬 2 📌 0

Being an adult means spending hours online searching “best toilet reddit”

29.01.2025 00:55 👍 27 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0
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Peekaboo ya dummy

27.01.2025 22:07 👍 30 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Stooop I’m extra large fries happy whenever I think about you ♥️

18.01.2025 19:45 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Kenny G, it’s your time to shine my darling

18.01.2025 01:24 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

We’re holding space for fetch

18.01.2025 00:41 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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I’m medium happy here

18.01.2025 00:35 👍 43 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

But where are the stylized photos??

11.01.2025 01:40 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Me: everyone who says nice things to me is lying

Therapist: are you lying when you say nice things to others?

Me: never

Therapist: so why would you assume they are?

Me:

Therapist:

Me: because shut up that’s why

10.01.2025 21:26 👍 85 🔁 11 💬 6 📌 1

K

10.01.2025 01:09 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Omg that one book out of thousands????

10.01.2025 00:57 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

WIFE: we're at a nice restaurant so please behave

ME: ok

WAITER: here is our tasting menu

ME:

WAITER:

WIFE: go ahead

ME: *tentatively licks menu*

09.01.2025 13:43 👍 2263 🔁 280 💬 42 📌 12

It’s true but we love them and do their bidding anyway. Happily. Like idiots.

10.01.2025 00:38 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

The romantasy genre’s so popular with women cause the male main character always makes sure the female main character comes before he does and therein lies the fantasy

10.01.2025 00:35 👍 21 🔁 2 💬 3 📌 0

[ceo tossing and turning in bed] the air. the air they breathe should be a subscription service.

05.01.2025 18:19 👍 3821 🔁 935 💬 64 📌 44

They should make a paintballing for sensitive boys, where we just gallivant through meadows gently daubing one another with watercolours.

08.01.2025 21:07 👍 471 🔁 113 💬 19 📌 3

My favorite thing about cats is how you can’t be near them but they can be near you

06.01.2025 17:22 👍 50 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0

Nickyyy 💞

05.01.2025 22:37 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0