Jasper Fforde

Potholes to be used as burial plots in Herefordshire The lack of usable burial plots in Herefordshire have forced the council to consider using the abundance of potholes for human interments.

I drew these! @jasperfforde.bsky.social wrote it! Go read it!

Redefining.. Retiles:

Alligator: Someone who makes allegations
Crocodile: Call centre for a popular make of shoes
Terrapin: One Trillion Personal Identification Numbers
Tortoise: What my History master did
Cayman: what comes after J, man
Anaconda: Sister of Beryl Conda

Apologies: had a few 'quality control issues'. The last book in the series has to deliver on several levels..

@jasperfforde.bsky.social saw this on ITV and couldn’t believe it. They’re naming fruit…

Satan Announces Planned Expansion of Hell Projected increase in numbers of low-level damned by 2034 require extra capacity, says Dark One.

Latest Substack: 'Satan Announces Planned Expansion of Hell
Projected increase in numbers of low-level damned by 2034 require extra capacity, says Dark One.' open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Just finished reading Early Riser by @jasperfforde.bsky.social in which much of the population hibernates as an adaptation to extreme winters caused by climate change. Highly entertaining, as are all his books.

« There will always be the Gower » cc @jasperfforde.bsky.social

New Toddlerism surges as average mental age of Homo Sapiens hits all time low As the Global Maturity Index continues to drop and the planet enters a dangerous 'New Toddlerism' stage, scientists urge citizens in charge of stuff to: 'stop doing dumb shit and act like adults.'

open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Consider this a recommendation of The Constant Rabbit by @jasperfforde.bsky.social. How a novel can mesh moving social commentary along with laugh-like-an-idiot absurdism so well is amazing

So, you think you'd like to be Hamlet? Ever fancied yourself as a bit of a Hamlet? Wanted to strut your stuff around a gloomy Danish castle, annoying your uncle and insulting the king's advisor? Take our FREE test and see how you fare.

Ever fancied yourself as a bit of a Hamlet? If your answer to that question is "I'll have to think about it", you just might have the indecisive qualities necessary to become a career procrastinator.

open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

@waterstones 25% discount for many books, including 'Just Jeeves' a compendium of Jeeves & Wooster retellings by excellent wordsmiths (and me)

Film Review: F1 (The Movie) Warning: Spoilers ahead.

On my Substack: Film Review F1 The Movie. If you go to see one motorsport movie this year, watch Steve McQueen's thundering 1971's petrol-soaked epic 'Le Mans'. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Actually as the excellent @jasperfforde.bsky.social writes in the brilliant The Constant Rabbit - we are trying to run a 21st century world on Palaeolithic thoughts and sentiments

Alzheimer's TREK26 Update: This is my Mum, in 2020, lockdown Summer. I often used to push an armchair out into the garden for her. Team Fforde are tackling, for the third time, the 26 mile TREK26 challenge here in Mid Wales on Saturday 14th June '25. Link: www.justgiving.com/team/theteam...

Chance meeting with a remarkable man Building an amphibian aircraft out of scrounged materials to settle a score with history

The time I met the guy who built the Colditz Glider open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Digital photographers 'more boring' than film photographers, survey shows Toad News Archive: Film photographers were traditionally dull, but digital takes it to an all new level, says leaked survey. Leica owners equally tedious, irrespective.

On my Substack: Digital photographers 'more boring' than film photographers. Film photographers were traditionally dull, but digital takes it to an all new level, says leaked survey. Leica owners equally tedious, irrespective. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

32-ton Hedgehog 'with grudge' sought after spate of car flattening Police are currently puzzling over motive as large hedgepig goes on rampage

32-ton Hedgehog 'with grudge' sought after spate of car flattening. Police are puzzling over motive as large hedgepig goes on rampage open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

On my Substack: Astronaut claims ‘Moon Landing Hoax’ never happened. Chris Hadfield, former astronaut and noted public educator finds himself in hot water after making bold and unproven claim. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Lost Tech: The Rover Nuclear Powered Car This week we look at one of the most interesting projects to come out of the early British Nuclear Experimental Age: the Top Secret Rover 'Atom Car' of 1952.

Lost Tech: The Rover Nuclear Powered Car
This week we look at one of the most interesting projects to come out of the early British Nuclear Experimental Age: the Top Secret Rover 'Atom Car' of 1952. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

In training for Trek26, a 26-mile walk through the Brecon Beacons in aid of the Alzheimer's Society. Mum had it for seven years, and this is the third Trek26 I've done. Any contribution to the Alzheimer's Society would be gratefully received. www.justgiving.com/page/teamffo...

Enraged Herbivores sue Hay Festival over 'misinterpretation'. Hay Festival finds itself foul of Trading Standards and enraged herbivores when popular festival found to contain little content about hay or any other dried grassy foodstuffs

Hay Festival finds itself foul of Trading Standards and enraged herbivores when popular festival found to contain little content about hay or any other dried grassy foodstuffs open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

'How the Light Gets in' Festival Controversy Powys Trading Standards Officers declare that contrary to Festival's name, 'Light clearly not getting in'

'How the Light Gets in' Festival Controversy: Powys Trading Standards Officers declare that contrary to Festival's name, 'Light clearly not getting in' Full story on my FREE Substack: open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Literary Festivals - Author Perspective 25 years of the offbeat craziness that is the festival circuit. The things you do, the people you meet, panels, line-ups, greenrooms ... and Douglas Coupland.

Literary Festivals - Author Perspective
25 years of the offbeat craziness that is the festival circuit. The things you do, the people you meet, panels, line-ups, greenrooms ... and Douglas Coupland being awesome.

open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

British citizens fear 'Surveillance Society' intercepted messages reveal Fear of surveillance and creeping government overreach are just a few of the subjects revealed in the nation's email, phone and text messages, it was reported yesterday

British citizens fear 'Surveillance Society'. Suspicion of surveillance and creeping government overreach are just a few of the subjects revealed in the nation's intercepted email, phone and text messages, it was reported yesterday.

open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Extinct animals hostile to concept of being reengineered, study shows Extinct animals under threat of being brought back to life show themselves to be 'generally averse' to the idea, a study shows.

On my substack: 'Extinct animals hostile to concept of being reengineered, study shows' jasperfforde.substack.com/p/extinct-an...

Government rejects Expert Advice from Expert Advice Experts Parliament pledges to ignore expert advice, despite expert advice that expert advice 'is best not ignored'.

Easter Substack: Government rejects Expert Advice from Expert Advice Experts. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Quality Street Chocolates Renamed Chocolate assortment deemed 'only adequate' by Trading Standards Authority

On my Substack: Quality Street Chocolates deemed to be 'only adequate' by Trading Standards Authority, name change demanded. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

Convos with Cabbies Lewis Collins * Elizabeth Taylor * Merengue Dance Mix * Armed Strippers

On my Substack: Conversations with Cabbies.
Lewis Collins * Elizabeth Taylor * Merengue Dance Mix * Armed Strippers. open.substack.com/pub/jasperff...

I can indeed confirm that I was kidnapped, and did agree to anything to be let out alive - for which I am very grateful. (restraining order now in place)

Team Fforde's Fundraiser for Alzheimer's Society Help Jasper Fforde raise money to support Alzheimer's Society

It's that time of year when I lace up my action booties and head to the hills to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society - a 26 mile walk in the Brecon Beacons. Any amount you can spare would by wonderful - thank you! www.justgiving.com/page/teamffo...