Jim Aspell

All I wanted was 3 bananas. Nope.

There are two things I know for certain. Regardless of how much snow we get today, come Monday, two places will be open by noon. Jimmies Pizza and my office.

Men: You want to stay young? Keep the weight off. Hit the gym daily, and use the hyaluronic acid with SPF and moisturizer in the morning and Trentinoin at night.

I still want to go.
I just spend more time wondering whether my body will cooperate.

I obtained my pilot's license back in 1994, and even then, landing on the nose wheel wasn't the best approach.

They should not have shut the government to begin with. Using SNAP recipients and air travelers as
“Leverage “ was a bush league move.

Sorry, where is the BS?

Last 3 weeks: San Francisco vacation, Nashville for Max Law, now California for Law Di Gras.
Not sure what time zone I’m in. Prepping depos with Notebook LM, hitting the gym, skipping the drinks, and still found time to watch Frankie McGuire crush it for Boise State.

Jarren Duran has got to go.

Solidly #teamTaylor.

My office numbers began porting at 4PM today and they are still not over, and as a buinesss owner I can think of nothing more anxiety producing.

I just want to put it out there that I was doing the exact same thing in 1975. I was 16 and made enough money cutting 16 lawns for one Summer to but my first boat. Entrepeneur's are born, not made.

Alexa, show me videos of people that will never visit Mexico.

Is it just me or was this a particularly lame #Eurovison?

I'm taking my business plan to Bank of America on Monday morning.

#Texashockey

We don't drive while we're smoking the ganja

The number of Gen Z kids that think they are in some kind of quirky mental health category is astounding. And a fair number of them call me every day and claim they are "disabled" from working.

And no one can give you directions anywhere.

Happy to report the Administration has yet to launch an attack against my law firm. We will continue to do what we have done for the past 20 years. Fight for the injured and disabled.

I'm pretty happy with how my first year associate handled this deposition today.

You know, if you all keep driving the price of Tesla's down, I might actually buy one .

Pretending that Tim Walz is actually relevant is a waste of time. You get that, right?

We know you care, because you tell us so. Other than the words, what else have you done?

📉 Studies show that reliance on AI tools for homework reduces critical thinking & problem-solving skills. A 2023 survey found 64% of students use AI to complete assignments—but 72% admitted they struggle without it. Are we creating thinkers or copy-pasters? 🤔💭 #Education #AI #CriticalThinking

Some 2026 Non-Rev Destinations: Jackson Hole, Portland, OR, Greece, Memphis, West Palm Beach, Dublin.

Canada's been through a lot lately—talk of takeovers and Trudeau's exit. But don't worry, our northern neighbors will keep calm, drink maple syrup, and say 'sorry' for being awesome. 🍁 #OhCanada #PoliticsWithPoliteness

I am an introvert, and 8 hours alone in a conference room w/ a client at a mediation is equivalent to 3 years in a Russian Gulag.

We did have her. For 4 years. And she was terrible. Try again.