@willharrisinva
AV Club writer with 200+ Random Roles to my name. Onetime senior editor/writer, Q Magazine. Helped ZAZ write a book about Airplane! (Surely You Can't Be Serious). Happily married w/ child. Venmo: @WillHarrisInVA
During his appearance on Kimmel last night, Chris Fleming referenced having been in a Super Bowl commercial for glue that was directed by Tim & Eric, so I had to find it. This video shows the commercial three times and a row, and now I'll never get the jingle out of my head. youtu.be/F6528XNrVHU?...
Art of the Deal
The ayatollahs could issue the funniest statement ever today:
"Wait. He just appointed the second-most deadbrained Senator to head homeland security and he gave the dog-shooting Barbie some made-up job defending the Western Hemisphere. And now he wants to name our Supreme Leader? The fuck you say."
Itβs a TV series.
So weβre like Germany in 1939. But weβre going to wait longer to violate the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact after invading Poland. bsky.app/profile/acyn...
Well, thatβs her sorted, then.
You can trust him: heβs a doctor.
This comes one week after Laura Loomer met with Trump and showed him clips of Tucker trashing him.
Corey Lewandowski is expected to leave DHS with Kristi Noem, according to Fox News' Jacqui Heinrich.
A Whte House source also says that "t was a combination of her many unfortunate leadership failures. From MN to the ad campaign to the allegations of an affair."
Moskowitz: "Let me congratulate the former Homeland Security Secretary on her appointment to be the Shield of Americas, which I'm pretty sure the president came up with when he watched the last Avengers movie"
βYouβre a U.S. senator!β
Bernie stops Noemβs replacement from literally trying to fight someoneππ½
This should go great
Secretary Kristi Noem @Sec_Noem Thank you @POTUS Trump for appointing me as the Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas. @SecRubio and @SecWar are incredible leaders and I look forward to working with them closely to dismantle cartels that have poured drugs into our nation and killed our children and grandchildren. The Western Hemisphere is absolutely critical for U.S. security. In this new role, I will be able to build on the partnerships and national security expertise, I forged over the last 13 months as Secretary of Homeland Security. We have made historic accomplishments at the Department of Homeland Security to make America safe again: we delivered the MOST secure border in American history, 3 million illegal aliens have left the U.S., we have located 145,000 children, FEMA delivered disaster relief at a 100% faster rate, we ushered in the golden age of travel, saved the American taxpayer $13 billion and revitalized the U.S. Coast Guard.
oh my goodness she seems to think Special Envoy for the Shield is a real job
Trump has launched a war in the Middle East without a plan, without a strategy, and without any clear idea about where it leads or how it ends.
He has no clue what heβs doing in Iran. [Cartoon by Brendan Loper]
If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.
Posted 8 days agoβ¦
Child having a Norwegian beer in a punk bar in Oslo, as one does.
You have to give him some credit for choosing an even bigger idiot this timeοΏΌ.
How terribly sadβ¦
Breaking:
WASHINGTON (AP) - More than 20 states sue over new global tariffs Trump imposed after Supreme Court loss.
JACOBS: Are we at war with Iran?
COLBY: We're in a military action
JACOBS: Yesterday, Trump said 'we're doing very well on the war front' and previously he said, 'we should expect casualties because that often happens in war.' So is he wrong?
COLBY: I'm not the right person to weigh in
Homer Simpson saying "But Marge, it works on any Ayatollah! Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi... Even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power!"
Child enjoying Oslo.
Trump: "THE SAVE AMERICA ACT! 1. ALL VOTERS MUST SHOW VOTER I.D. (IDENTIFICATION!).β¨β¨ 2. ALL VOTERS MUST SHOW PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP IN ORDER TO VOTE.β¨ 3. NO MAIL-IN BALLOTS (EXCEPT FOR ILLNESS, DISABILITY, MILITARY, OR TRAVEL!). 4. NO MEN IN WOMENβS SPORTS. 5. NO TRANSGENDER MUTILATION SURGERY FOR CHILDREN, WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN APPROVAL OF THE PARENTS."
Trump: "THE SAVE AMERICA ACT!
1. ALL VOTERS MUST SHOW VOTER ID (IDENTIFICATION!)β¨β¨
2. ALL VOTERS MUST SHOW PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP TO VOTE
3. NO MAIL-IN BALLOTS (EXCEPT FOR ILLNESS, DISABILITY, MILITARY OR TRAVEL!)
4. NO MEN IN WOMENβS SPORTS
5. NO TRANSGENDER MUTILATION SURGERY FOR CHILDREN"
Pete Hegseth just fear-mongered about "radical narco communism"
When you absolutely know what human rights are
Latest episode of STARFLEET ACADEMY - the penultimate of the season - is so great. Finally pays off a storyline that's been ongoing since the first episode and ends in a cliffhanger that sets up next week's season finale in suitably disconcerting fashion.
βAt the expense of everything else.β Boy, thatβs just pure, unbridled Trump right there.
Child went to Norway and bought a HΓΌsker DΓΌ patch.
10/10, no notes.
βLiars gonna lie,β I get that, but this asshat consistently takes it to a whole other level.
NEWSNATION: What will you do to ensure at some point there's an exit strategy in place?
SEN. RON JOHNSON: Well, the greatest restraint on any president is public opinion. President Trump is a peace-monger. I'm not overly concerned about this turning into a long-term engagement
