Marshall Scott

How dare you

Thank you for bringing this to my attention

Apologizing to my boss that I haven’t tweeted about him in awhile

Your honor, the prosecution has spent all their time taking about me, but more importantly, how are *you*

Your honor, be honest am I cooked

*holding up a 1,042 page document*

Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence

The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyer’s dogs??

Do you ever think about how there’s infinite different versions of you that exist in people’s minds cuz everyone perceives you differently and in some people’s minds you don’t exist at all

Bro I don’t think we saved the daylight bro

Did we do it, did we save the daylight

Sorry I ghosted you on Halloween

Hi lol

I love you

it was court ordered

Same tbh

Hell yeah

No, you

Shabby dabby do

Hell yeah

How’s it goin

Well that escalatored quickly

Calling the police cuz someone turned the escalator into stairs

Rubbing crushed Tylenol on my gums while easily walking up a broken escalator

Freebasing Tylenol in the office parking lot

I thought he got trapped in an elevator, are you telling me the escalator turned into stairs and he didn’t know what to do 😭

So true

I’m gonna do it