Dorothy

MONSTER TALK with King Ghidorah. "The first step to scapegoating a group is to dehumanize it," says Ghidorah. "The real rich guys dehumanized themselves," says Godzilla. "They jumped in the money machine and said 'do me!'" "Who is the victim here?" asks Ghidorah. "Somewhere is an Elon Musk with a leased CRV and a split level ranch whose poker buddies find his edge lord schtick borderline insufferable but who makes it to all his kids birthday parties. Somewhere Jeff Bezos is wearing khaki pants and a braided leather belt and doing on-site tech support for B2B software and daydreaming of how much better his life could be if he could just make $80k. Somewhere Mark Zuckerberg and his young family are living with his in-laws until they can pay off his wife's med school loans and, while he resents it, later when they are in the townhouse and the kids are fully grown he will look back on it as the best time of his life." "So you must destroy the machine," Godzilla says. "The machine first, yes," says Ghidorah. "But you must still DESTROY ALL MONSTERS." "Ahem," says the bandleader. "Not you, Mothra." Godzilla turns to the camera. "Stay tuned for these messages from our sponsors!"

Monster talk.

"If you're born at the bottom you KNOW it's a joke" says Girl. "No one deserves to be born at the bottom." "You roll the dice," says Cat. "If you're born at the top you should KNOW it's a joke - no one deserves to be born at the top," says Girl. "You take your chances" says Cat. "If you're born in the middle," Girl says, "you might not get the joke - you might think that everyone starts in the middle." "Chutes and - " says Cat. "And spend your life," continues Girl, "looking for a ladder that doesn't exist." "-all chutes" says Cat. "Shoot. What's the joke?" "The Meritocrats!" sings Girl.

Jokes we tell

Our institutions are not hollow. If they were hollow we could crawl inside them, fill them with life - change their direction - call them our own. But our institutions are not hollow. Our institutions are not hollow. Yet.

A crab walks in

BOOM

Girl holds a bomb. The yellow brick road winds all around them. The Emerald City is in the distance, impossible to reach.

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"Who lives in Emerald City?" Girl asks. "The wizard who will get us-" "A heart" says Boy. "A brain" says Cat. "A solid veggie reuben" says Grrrl. "Home?" Asks Girl. "Or a forger of credentials whose certificates, watches and medals don't give you what you want - but only serve to let you know - that none of those people with credentials have hearts or brains or courage either! That it's ALL a SCAM - institutions and their leaders taking advantage of the pilgrims, the seekers, the believers, the rubes..." "If the wizard can't help us why are we GOING?" asks an exasperated Cat. Girl pulls a bomb out of her basket and smiles.

All the wrong places

"I just want to go home" says Girl, continuing down the yellow brick road with her picnic basket. "Take the bus!" Says Cat. "You sold me the ticket!" says Girl. "Oh right" says Cat, grimacing. "But if you're shut out of institutional scams - why not freelance?" Girl asks. "It's a snickers wrapper" says Cat. "Why tie yourself to the meritocratic measures of a dead world" says Girl - "In my defense I wanted money" Cat says. "We live in a time of scammers - because companies are scams - Potemkin legal structures for the reserve of money that sloshes around behind them, seeking ever more return," says Girl, "and the least valuable company is the one that makes something - and the least valuable person is the one who knows something."

Looking for home ...

They are at war with you. Are you at war with them

Are you at war with them

They are at war with you

Reciprocals

All they have is violence

Sunny days

The four friends continue walking down the yellow brick road. "For if the boss class has the power to shape society," says Girl. "- that you need to get hollow jobs -" says Cat. "Then a medal and NO courage IS worth more than courage and no medal." "- maintaining this road -" says Cat. "And the pack of meritocratic suckers bent on earning those medals." "- to the hollow institution =" says Cat. "Are necessary for cover" "- handing our hollow credentials -" continues Cat. "Only until all the value has been ripped out of the institution" says Girl, "like the last strand of copper wire in an abandoned building -" "- that you need to get a hollow job - "says Cat. "And the MASQUERADE" says Girl - " - maintaining -" says Cat - "Hand me a shovel" says Grrrrl. "- is no longer needed" says Girl. "I only brought one for ME" says Cat, clinging to his shovel.

... Win humbug prizes

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"To the boss class a diploma IS an education" says Girl, walking down the yellow brick road. "A watch IS a heart - a medal IS courage." "Well" says Cat, whistling. "Money IS worth" says Girl. "We're off to see the Boss Class" sings Cat. "WHY" demands Grrrrl - "They don't understand abstraction" Girl says. "Where does this road even GO?" asks Grrrl. "That these things represent something REAL - something HUMAN - something DEEP - says Girl. The Emerald City lies before her. "If they can buy a medal - what's an earned medal worth?" Asks Grrrl. "- but are not REAL themselves!" Says Girl. "Hollow credentials" says Cat. Girl stops, worrying. "Or maybe WE don't understand", she says. "Bestowed by hollow institutions," says Cat.

Play humbug games, ...

"I" says Grrrrl, emerging from the shrubbery dressed as a lion. "The Boss-Epstein class cements their status as a RULING CABAL by making membership contingent on sharing their mores," says Girl. "Never mind" says Grrrl. "That money is the measure - and those of us WITHOUT money" continues Girl - "Yes?" asks Cat. "Doesn't matter" says Grrrl, following along behind them. "I can see she already has a whole thing going on. " - only have value insofar as they can MAKE USE OF US" says Girl. "Those mores mores MASKED by credentials granted by our hollow institutions." "I'll put you down for courage," says Cat. "And civil society has been warped by their money to GRANT them and their supplicants these credentials!" says Girl. "I have enough courage to not need some hierarchy-approved PROOF of COURAGE!" Says Grrrl. "Pay Universities to vouch for your brains," says Girl. "Pay charities to vouch for your heart - pay museums to vouch for your soul. Hm!" "What ARE you looking for" says Cat. "A real solid veggie reuben" says Grrrl.

If I only had the nerve.

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"The boss class doesn't want us to notice-" says Girl. Tippling oil into the joints of the Ton Woodsman. "I was out in the rain waiting for an Amazon package," the Woodsman says. "- that every company they control stops making ITEMS for USE - with resulting profit - and starts making PROFIT - with resulting slop." "And I rusted," says the Woodsman. They enter a dark and forbidding fprest. "If people notice - buy the name of a heritage brand and put that on your slop." "Now I want a heart" says the Woodsman. Fog rises up around them. "So why not just buy the cheapest thing? It's all slop anyway." "But I don't want to pay more than $20" says the Woodsman. Cat looks around. "Where is this?" Girl continues talking, exasperated. "Why wouldn't every product be shoddy? Why wouldn't every review be fake? Why not steal from the self checkout? Why not pretend the package never came?" "And I DEFINITELY don't want to pay any shipping" says the Woodsman. "My phone wouldn't lie to me" says Cat. "What does it do to our souls to have our daily purchases and communications require us to assume that everyone involved is acting in bad faith?" "I replaced the GPS with an op ed section" says Cat, holding his phone. They look around at the darkness that surrounds them. Cat looks at his phone. "It says we've entered slop forest." "We've been in slop forest for a long time," says Girl. Toot! Goes the Woodsman.

Into the woods

Books and butter

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Waiter, there's an oligarchy in my meritocracy

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Cat and Girl stand by a car stranded on the road, smoke pouring our from under its hood. "How many times do you try and fix a car," says Girl, "before toy start walking?" "My sweater's in the car" says Cat, shivering. "The whole system's complicit!" says Girl. She walks. She walks on. "And the car is named capitalism." "I GOT THAT" says Cat.

Eight years ago today

This is the year someone bought the licorice eyebrows tin!

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A whole mess of zines akimbo on a kitchen table

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"The greatest trick the boss class ever pulled," says Girl, "was making management its own area of study - creating a class of people whose only BUSINESS is BUSINESS." Cat runs up behind her on the yellow brick road as she remains engrossed in her own thoughts. "And if there's no skill-based barrier to entry in this elite then their in-group social cohesion becomes paramount to maintaining their privilege." "The second greatest trick was to cast a boss class as inevitable," says Cat. "They HAVE to cover for each other," Girl says, "it's the only skill they have!" "So the question is why them," says Cat. "The third greatest trick" says Girl. "-instead of why ANYONE" says Cat. Giel pauses, sad and ashamed. "They got my nose," she says. "They could be pulling coins out of our ears!" Says Cat.

We're off to see the boss class 🎶

Vintage illustrated postcard with a drawing of a medium haired cat tangled up in string with a bandage around its head looking quite pathetic. Text on it says I have troubles of my own. Don’t mention yours.

Postcard from my collection, sent 1912.