Three episodes into Starfleet Academy, and I'm finding it Muppet coded and pretty fricking delightful.
07.03.2026 22:32
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Spines, NyQuil, and Staring At the Ceiling
What I Read February 2026
Hello, please enjoy this semi-literary nonsense while I continue learning that you cannot cough sexy. You just can’t.
Spines, NyQuil, and Staring At the Ceiling. open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
05.03.2026 19:48
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I'm not holding anyone's hand when I say this (because I have the flu), but if the only reason you don't vote for a woman is because you don't think she'll get enough votes to win, may whatever God you believe in bless you with some common sense upside the head. Maybe twice.
04.03.2026 15:41
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ICYMI
01.03.2026 22:04
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In Attendance
Also, a Coat
I regret to inform you that I still have not been crowned Queen of the Gym Bleachers, Sovereign of Decorum.
This and other nonsense in my latest post:
open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
27.02.2026 16:41
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Opening the door while you're knocking (or a microsecond after) means you don't understand knocking.
22.02.2026 17:10
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Drinking a soda that has a little icon saying it’s Vegan and that’s probably why I don’t like it, it’s missing the gristle.
06.02.2026 02:11
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He is vile. He is despicable. He is rancid.
06.02.2026 13:34
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Stop the Steal! Norway is Coming for America's Olympic Medals
Patriot, this may be the MOST IMPORTANT and SHOCKING email we ever send you.
In case you need a brief and possibly funny break from The Horrors, here's a piece I wrote a few years ago about Norway OBVIOUSLY rigging the Winter Olympics.
open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
05.02.2026 16:10
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You may now resume doomscrolling.
04.02.2026 13:11
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Riccardo Cioni - In America (Discoring) - 1982 HD & HQ
YouTube video by Vdj Lou Official Italy (RAVENNA)
This may not make sense to you until Sunday night. Even then, it may not make sense.
youtu.be/Y2ltgYT7js0?...
04.02.2026 13:11
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I Feel Bad About My [*Waves Around Wildly*]
What I Read January 2026
Please enjoy my nonsense about reading in the Time of Monsters while I track down who replaced my brain with pudding.
WARNING: I used the phrase, "Well, smack my jukebox and call me Fonzie," and I'm not apologizing unless my lawyer suggests otherwise.
open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
03.02.2026 16:14
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Bernice king’s message about the shooting of Alex Pretti
25.01.2026 12:42
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Minnesota 💜
24.01.2026 17:32
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"If you even cast a glance at something that may or may not make you look like some sort of elvish tart in a middling fantasy series, a sales associate will apparate and ask if you’ve considered a serum."
ICYMI
16.01.2026 17:54
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They say dress for the job you want, so idk
16.01.2026 15:20
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Today I'm dressed as a partially unraveled skein of yarn.
16.01.2026 15:20
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Face-Planting and Whatnot
Yes, I Want Fries With That
Please enjoy the following nonsense while I negotiate a peace treaty with my hair.
Face-Planting and Whatnot
open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
14.01.2026 16:17
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As we look for what we can do, we can promise each other that no one stands alone when they are brave and afraid.
08.01.2026 14:02
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Thanks! And yes!
07.01.2026 16:17
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Auld Lang Sigh
I, Too, Have New Year’s Thoughts
Please enjoy the following nonsense while I finish laminating this card with my intentions printed on it in a tasteful serif.
Auld Lang Sigh
open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
07.01.2026 15:29
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Willing to work in a very sweary division of Hallmark.
06.01.2026 13:21
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Happy Gotcha Day to this fuzzy muggins who has at least one screw loose.
05.01.2026 18:44
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Fun fact: I dashed this one off, and boy, it's almost impossible to tell.
ICYMI.
02.01.2026 16:51
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While you all participated in Whamageddon, I just won Noggonnadrinkit.
02.01.2026 14:05
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It's 2026 and I'm still writing checks.
Or something.
Look, they can't all be gems.
01.01.2026 18:58
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Girl Bosses Tilt at Windmills (Or Do They?)
What I Read December 2025
This month, I read three books that prove words can absolutely ruin an otherwise pleasant life.
Check out my new post! ⬇️
open.substack.com/pub/jackiepi...
31.12.2025 14:50
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We've hit the time of year when every other email is about a "New You."
Cool. New Me is wearing a suit of bees in 2026.
30.12.2025 13:32
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