Mollie Goodfellow

If someone photoshopped me holding Nigel’s hand and put it on the news I would hire every lawyer in the country

Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips
Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt

Do the winning teams on The Apprentice not get the weekly Wowcher style prizes anymore? Recession indicator????

I love him

I love the NHS so much but sometimes they’ll just send you a message being like “something might be happening! if something doesn’t happen in a week maybe contact someone, or don’t, who knows” and it’s like receiving a riddle in a forest

ICO writes to Meta over 'concerning' AI smart glasses report Videos, including of glasses-wearers using the toilet or having sex, are sometimes reviewed by a Kenya-based subcontractor.

Last year when I was checking into a hotel, the desk person was wearing Meta glasses. I kindly asked them to take them off. They were annoyed. I said, “I do not consent to you looking at my credit card and ID with Meta glasses on.” My instincts were correct: www.bbc.com/news/article...

Does anyone dress their children up from the original World Book Day book….THE BIBLE

THAT was the best political strategy in the entire world??? THAT???

Just screamed at my phone in agony

I would just love one of my shitpost political tweets to be in one history book or textbook in my lifetime

Something I do sometimes is I imagine my favourite history teacher from school talking about things Trump does or says in the same way he would talk about like JFK and the Bay of Pigs and I have a little chuckle to myself, if that’s okay with you

He has The Pattern app

Why is he soooo one of the girls

Uhh yeah I sure hope they did

Matt Damon currently talking Ben Affleck down

I didn't expect the "then they came for..." to hit me QUITE so specifically, but lesson learned.

So unseemly to be spying these days I think, like you’re not even going round in a trench coat lurking in multi storey car parks or swapping briefcases in public squares you’re just probably screenshotting stuff

nunca consegui parar de pensar nisso

[We see a close up of a young white male, tanned, white teeth, coiffed hair clearly an influencer on social media. It is an image such as you see when social media posts are shown on the news. In the corner of the screen is named a location: DUBAI. He is staring slightly off-camera for several silent panels of the comic strip. His eyes move slightly. He is having a thought.] From off-screen a newsreader’s commentary comes: NEWSREADER: Extraordinary images here of an expat in Dubai [The influencer’s eybrows raise slightly] …Having their first ever geopolitical thought. [CUT TO a BBC news scene. The BBC newsreader CLIVE MYRIE is talking to an interviewee next to the screen showing the social media influencer’s face. The interviewee’s name is David Jones]. CLIVE MYRIE: To explain the significance of this moment we’re joined by David Jones, our Expat Thoughts correspondent DAVID JONES: Clive, this is momentous It was caught on film at the end of an Instagram post titled: ‘Dubai Is Brilliant’. [Pointing at the screen, the influencer’s expression still the same] You can clearly see in the eyebrows here, the dawning realisation that there *might* be something in the world beyond his dickhead self. It marks a *huge* departure from all the Dubai Expat’s previous thoughts. CLIVE MYRIE: Which are…? DAVID JONES: You've Got To Get Yourself Out Here Mate, Everything Is So Clean, I Don't Have To Pay Taxes, I Am Incurious As To Why I Do Not Have To Pay Taxes, and Spa. CLIVE MYRIE: And might we see an expansion of these new Thoughts in coming days? DAVID JONES: I think we can expect to see: “I Deserve To Be Airlifted By A Country I Pay No Tax To” CLIVE MYRIE: Mmm. [Ends]

I am 4 years old. War in Middle East could wipe out growth in UK living standards.
I am 15 years old. War in Middle East could wipe out growth in UK living standards.
I am 25 years old. War in Middle East could wipe out growth in UK living standards.
I am 34 years old. War in Middle East could wipe

A screenshot of Google's AI Overview answer to the question "is haggis an animal". It says "Yes, the haggis is a small, furry mammal native to Scotland" and goes on to give the typical "asymmetrical legs" details.

The Scottish have won the AI Wars.

An Englishman on his way to work in a Sharia court/windmill

Hearing Windy Miller will be speaking out about Trump’s statement on UK windmills shortly

British Windmills:

Got through to the second round of interviews for the Ayatollah but they’re making candidates do a written task of matching a pitch deck and honestly they shouldn’t be asking us to do unpaid labour for a job interview

One of the funniest things to come out of this are the brits who won’t leave Dubai even as it’s being bombed. One influencer adjacent guy went on a live stream on his balcony and said he’d rather be killed by Iran than go back to Wigan

friend sent this over from the other place and unfortunately I did laugh

it’s actually due to The Amulet

You should be able to get suspicious moles checked and removed at Timpsons

Explain