Leopard 2A4M CAN

Me?

Now you frame yourself as the victim, and you didn't give me the chance to leave us on fine terms.

We could have, but you refused. You want to be the victim and want all the sympathy you can get, but at the cost of others.

You started the relationship. I cared for you in the beginning, but I felt forced into it since I knew you were on the verge of suicide. Not your fault but still.

We barely knew each other and the first thing you decide to do is use me. Use me to vent to. It never felt you truly cared about me.

They won't know, they can't understand. It's not what or who they care for.

Wrong account whoops

*mmmmmwwwwaaaah* >w<

"Oh you passively act similar to an abuser but have no malice behind it?"

"Well I hate you and think you're a monster then"

Please, I just wanna feel truly loved. I want to be equal. Stop shoving it in my face that I will never be loved and everyone is better than me.

I mean nothing to everyone.

My parents are who knows. But nobody can truly help me. This is a fight I can never win, nor run away from. I feel sick, I feel tired, I feel exhausted.

Shall I give up? Shall I end this life and hope to find a better one? I will never know what will happen, but I know it's better than this.

I am only told I am doing this wrong and that I will fail doing this. I just want something more fair, something more enjoyable. Is that too much to ask?

If I could be happy, maybe I could contribute more to society, or even just the people around me. There is a reason I am like how I am.

All I crave for is either death or my dreams to be realized. Now. I need a break. I cannot get myself to do really anything. School is not something I can do, this life is not something I feel I can live. I need a new one.

I will never be able to create my amazing ideas, or be happy with this life.

All I beg for is someone who is loving, caring, helpful, and has interests I can enjoy with them.

I have felt like I have gotten so close to that, yet I am always so far. They all hate me, always keeping it between true friends, behind my back.

I am at my limit. I will be with the wind in time.

I know I am unloved, never a priority. Just a side character to watch. I have already said this but I feel it has reinstated inside of me worse.

I'm never part of the friend group, never a close friend, never even a close partner no matter how many times people try to talk to me, both online or irl

It's always them, and never me. I sit around, forced to see.

My screams are frowned upon, while the others get pulled up to their feet by the rest.

I know I am hated, but they refuse to admit to my face. They keep telling me that "we're mates!", and they never tell me their real hate.

I am not truly loved. Never a partner. Never a close friend. Never family.

Just sat aside, to watch everyone else frolic in their amazing love lives, as I am expected to watch and always know, I'm never fit for real love.

I shall be ignored, forgotten, and left to rot in the quietly condemned.

I will make this post here, I KNOW MY PFP IS A LEOPARD 2A4, and not a 2A4M, same goes for my banner.

Canadian tanks are uparmored different so I couldn't find any destroyed ones.

My sad coping mechanisms and broken needs pair with my torn mental health and inability to regulate the life I have been thrown into, to make for a, GREAT PERSONALITY. Wow.

I know I am at fault for what I do, I know who has abused me grounded that mindset into mine, only for me to repeat it. I know I can't stop, and I only beg that I could.

All I ever am is the one people talk about when I'm not around, the one forgotten about till appearing.