Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips
Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt
06.03.2026 00:50
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Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips
Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt
LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS... -- Impatiently rat-a-tat-tatting the mouse against the desk isn't gonna make that PC boot up any faster, sweetie darling.
@enthusmiasma.bsky.social
*in Flo from "Alice" voice*
@timbousquet.bsky.social
News from the Wild West, er...
A precocious 4y/o redheaded girl told me her cat's name is ShimShady.
I crow-cooed.
Otherwise, withdrawing from the world to self-sooth with Salted Carmel Apple Pie Ice Cream.
Lemon meringue pie m&ms
They said it couldn't be done. The fools
This all kind of gives new meaning to March Madness, huh gang?
Folks, if a car key has been janky for months, instead of taking care of it ASAP, ignore until it becomes problematic for you and your very tired wife.
Hubs was sick for a week. Went to the doc to get a note for work.
Didn't get a DIAGNOSIS or any MEDICATION.
Just the note.
For work.
SQUALOR HOLLOW -- Set my canned fizzy water by an itty bitty cuspidor on the hoarded up, filthy table.
The headline "Popular pizza chain plans to close hundreds of stores" about Papa John's does not make a good case for opening the headline with "popular."
HEY KIDS -- Wanna read a book about...
Only if you treat the pinch of salt like pocket sand...
CREDENTIALS ACQUIRED, ROLL FOR INITIATIVE...-- Took five minutes to get my UCA transcript. Fast. $10.
Bankruptcy is never fun... Unless it’s “Bankruptcy! The Slot Machine,” where you can strike it rich with a row of Chapter 11’s.
Use the time that the floor isn't lava wisely.
Don’t spend the precious moments of your life watching an old rapist lie to you on TV tonight, do something healthier like chew on roofing nails
Happy Twin Peaks Day to all who celebrate! ⛰️⛰️🖤
Kash Patel: this is what we do baby!!!!!! ::spraying miller lite around the team usa locker room::
Savannah Guthrie’s mom: hellloooooo i’m dying
@timbousquet.bsky.social
Sorry we live in the redneck-est of times...
A man with a shotgun and a fuel can was shot and killed after breaching the secure perimeter at Mar a Lago.
Side note: Trump isn’t in Florida this weekend.
Going to file this under “stupid games, stupid prizes”
Stop testing Secret Service - they WILL kill you.
This is a remarkably creative and fun jaunt through a thousand years of English, and a creepy story to boot. I’m good through the 1400s. How about you? 🗃️
WAYWARD WIND, THAT RESTLESS WIND--Refilled the bird feeders, replaced the air filter. Brunch was corned beef hash with poached eggs, and crumbly biscuits with rosemary, dried cherries, and sliced almonds. Also a spice cake made with mashed nanner, orange juice, sliced almonds and dried cherries.
the glorious constitutional principle of "the president can't fuck with Supreme Court justices' investment portfolios" stands strong
I love saying "sounds good" at work, but that shit never sounds good.
men won't even go if you call it turbo therapy
Reporter: Do aliens exist?
Obama: *chuckles* Technically no, a time ghoul is from Earth. Just not today’s Earth