Not Invented

He knew something was wrong when the stadium bar didn't have any Newcastle brown ale, but had 482 different types of cider n pasty meal combos.

Condoms AND EARPLUGS are available from the front desk.

*Fixed it for you.

Ok, well the easiest way to fix this is to install hypercard and then....

The lords are elderly and have difficulty hearing so tilt their heads against the loudspeakers built into the seats.

If a debate is length the lords may rest their eyes to better concentrate on the issue.

And the chamber is cold so the use of sleeping bags for warmth was completely understandable.

It's a little known fact that his ears were completely normal at birth, but became misshapen due to the frequent impacts from boxing.

Star Trek: The Wrath of Chaka Khan YouTube video by HeyWowAwesome

I loved his videos:
youtube.com/watch?v=Twe0...

"It is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.

To summarize the summary:
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job".

I wonder if anyone would pay £500k just to guarantee avoiding Liz Truss and anything associated with her, for the rest of their lives?

Apparently the last words spoken by the bazookasaurus tribe, as they looked up at a rapidly descending meteorite, were "Don't worry guys - we've got this".

Definitely in the "used to be good but corporate greed ruined it" category.

Ccleaner?

You could try using a theatrical paint supplier, ie designed for tv and theatre sets.

They can supply paint colours which are purer with a very matte finish, because they're designed to be seen under bright stage lighting.

However they're also much more expensive than standard 'retail' paint.

Navy Captain C.F. Itfloats was quoted as saying "At least I don't have a silly name".

Monty Python were unavailable for interview.

I learnt that if a planet is forced to spin the opposite way, then time on that planet also goes backwards.

If this also applies to asteroids then NASA has a relatively easy way to build a time machine.

Definitely put it in writing, send via recorded 'signed on arrival' tracked delivery the old fashioned way (not email which will get mysteriously lost).

In it say: To confirm our recent telephone call. I said, GP said, I phoned and asked for the Practice Manager and you confirmed that...
Etc.

May I submit the Dangle Berry, which is a fart gone badly wrong; the Kaki Persimmon which is an emergency codeword understood by Dry Cleaning Operatives; or the delightful Rhobs El Arsa.

But if the task is more onomatopoeic in scope then perhaps these may suffice:
Entawak
Grumichama
Hyuganatsu

NASA Will Chase August Solar Eclipse With Two Jet Planes | The Weather Channel Here's how they plan to follow this rare phenomenon from the skies.

Top photo isn't real, it's an illustration or composite of something that will happen.

See
weather.com/science/spac...

Imagine that's his picture
It's easy if you try
Sarcastic alt text below it
Annoys some readers of Bluesky
Imagine all the people
Upvoting this today...

True fact, er probably...

Prince wrote his famous song about doves crying after watching Mars Attacks.

As it's UK as a whole it would need the entire country to be foggy.

Even in fog, panels can pick up some solar energy although their efficiency is reduced by 10-90% depending on fog density. But never zero in daylight.

Hi TV hosts, I get a lot of offers to come on shows so it's great your producer said you're huge fans. Which of my orchestral works would you say is your favourite?
-
I'm very grateful your show has agreed to donate $10000 to my charity, could we do a publicity photo of you presenting me the cheque?

Fully autonomous, all-terrain, uses renewable biomass, waste products are biodegradable and great for flower beds.

But never give them wine because they'll get very drunk and do their Pegasus impression, which involves jumping off the nearest high cliff then shouting "where the fuck are my wings?"

In 2025 Amazon was one of the few tech companies that insisted IT workers turn up at the office every day.

And now in 2026 it's insisting they stay at home and never come in at all.

There are live figures available if you want to see where the UK is getting its energy.

Please note solar will be zero at night ;)

grid.iamkate.com

You could try shrugging it off...
🤔

Wishing all goddesses a wonderful day!

This is why having a visible stain on one side is such a great idea...

Er, why is everyone looking at me like that and slowly moving away..?

In my English literature exam I wrote in great detail about this woman and her dog, who's called Spot.

She's insisting Spot goes out because she's busy washing her hands.

She gets so annoyed she calls him "damned Spot", and refers to a bloody old man. Probably her grandad.

I scored F.
(Fabulous)

I'm profoundly confused about sex too. I know a mummy and a daddy have a special kind of hug, but it's very vague after that.

The worst thing is my children won't explain it to me either - even the one who's ginger. (Same colour hair as my wife's gym instructor, but I'm sure that's coincidence).

Battlefield 3 Multiplayer 2020 Kharg Island Rush Gameplay 4K YouTube video by Always Battlefield

Below is battlefield 3 game footage which I'm posting now so if anything happens you can use this to spot the inevitable AI shitpost fakery generated from it:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=HuRF...