from time to time I consider that basically everything with a spine likes being pet, and due to the vagaries of hand evolution Team Human has the best petters in the game
Somebody FINALLY said it
Michigan J Frog
Boss: And who should be the face of this sexy new network for teens?
Me, first time I've spoken all meeting:
Hemingway was once bet that he couldn’t write the world’s happiest short story in just 5 words. He replied,
Album cover version of the image above, featuring three burrowing owls, one so close to the camera we can only see one blurry eye, another peering up curiously from below, and one in flight above the grassland stretching to the horizon. Sticker in the corner: "Parental advisory explicit content"
(walking up to an ape who is using a stick to scoop ants out of a rotting log and eat them) let me get a bite of those ants
POV you are about to lose at Guess Who
They should list the relationship status of the skaters because I don't like not knowing what's going on between those two.
I returned "Firestarter" to the school library at St. Pats in 7th grade and the librarian was surprised and horrified to learn that it was in the collection in the first place
Image of the Yeti in the skiing Windows game SkiFree eating the player
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
At least you know it was true love.
6 year-old me: ROAST HIM
How are kids supposed to watch Price is Right if they have remote learning days instead of snow days??
I endorse the hiring of anyone, for any job, named Jim Bob Cooter
every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie
The beauty of cross-posting!
You and me both!
Harlem Globetrotters 106, Washington Generals 104
Just won $5,000 on an in-game parley!
1. Globetrotters win
2. Slam dunks, 25 (over)
3. Player hangs upside down from rim, 5 (over)
4. Referee atomic wedgies, 0.5 (over)
An N64 with Zelda cartridge
They're calling the N64 THE Christmas gift of 2025:
Physical media
Cannot connect to the internet
Does not ask for money
"Ho, ho, ho, children! Here’s that crack you ordered in your stocking!"
if I were Scrooge, Jacob Marley showing up in chains would have been all it took. message received, thank you Jake, I will give Bob Cratchit a raise
As the kids say
A decimated gingerbread house within 24 hours of "just one little bite"
Broken Windows Theory but for gingerbread houses
the best argument against cord-cutting — the one i would use if i were trying to market a cable company — is that streaming has yet to replicate the wonder of “stumbling across the last 30 minutes of My Cousin Vinny before bedtime”
Damn leaguewide was only 29% on that one!
SHOW JERRY JONES YOU COWARDS
Here's a skeet that held up
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
