expired dick

album cover for a band called GOITSE

did a quadruple take

have we tried throwing billionaires into a volcano?

A photo of a cat under a bed with a rotisserie chicken with the caption: This is Beans. Beans stole a while rotisserie chicken off the counter. Not a piece. The whole chicken. Beans dragged it under the bed and growled at us for forty minutes. Beans is 9 pounds.

Become ungovernable

This is Beans. Beans can’t buy a house because of splurging on rotisserie chicken.

Kid Rock tweet: My halftime performance was pre recorded but performed live. No lipsycing like the haters and fake news are trying to report. When they synced the cameras to my performance if Bawitdaba, it did not line up as I explain in this video.

David Cross losing his mind in the immortal pre-taped call-in show Mr Show sketch

i hope an ai clydesdale shows up in a super bowl commercial and tells me to kill myself

it's so funny to put yourself in a position where you have to pretend you like the music of Kid Rock. we know you're lying guys, we can hear him too

here’s some good small accounts i like a lot lately, enjoy

removing all the brown m&m’s from kid rock’s backstage candy bowl so they can be deported

give me the ferments
and free my soul
I’m only eatin yogurt
at the super bowl
I’m RFK

while many of you are likely yelling “go patriots” or “go seahawks!” i’m yelling “go robert mueller and the rule of law!”

Jake Paul @jakepaul • 23h Wow pls shut the fuck up From all true Americans If you don't want to represent this country go live somewhere else Chad Caton @Im... •1d What you ski with that flag on your arm and run your mouth on the world stage?? Some of us wore that flag on our arm and buried our friends under it. STFU AND GO PLAY IN THE SNOW Hunter Hess Team USA freestyle skier

the left is also going to get the olympics in the national divorce it seems, while the conservatives will retain [checks notes] jake paul, rob schneider & catturd

me too, he’s tough, been in 40 bar fights

i hope Grimace isn’t in the epstein files

hope you enjoyed the nutrients

alraawty then, watch me clench me buohh

Whenever I see or think of this Mr. Show sketch I always wonder - why were they friends to begin with?! I want to know more

i think they both had very limited friend options

wow this is a pretty dramatic move to pull just to get out of playing Kid Rock's music festival

They’ll be hearing from his father

All the stars are here: Brantley Gilbert, Brice Bradley, Gabby Babby, Bibb Glibsy, Slab Gabbert, Brice Bryce,

Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA 16h I am settling in for a showing of 'Melania' and the theater is PACKED! Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks. "Avatar? No, son," I curtly replied. "I don't watch woke movies. I'm here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady." The man's two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, "Daddy, we want to see Melania!" "But. But..." he stammered, "I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?" "No, no, NO," they said, now nearly shouting. "We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER." Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.

"Girls, I'm afraid you aren't the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife," I said, kneeling to get on their level. "Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it's been sold out for days." Tears began to well up in their eyes. "But..." I said in a hushed tone, "I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I'd like you and your dad to have them." They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile. I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. "Raise these girls right," I whispered. "Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don't let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?" He hugged me and thanked me profusely. "What are you going to do now?" He asked. "Don't worry about me, son," I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. "I've already got tickets to the next showing." Jan 31, 2026 • 2:52 AM UTC • 7,183 17 389 • 4,748 Il 2,337,368

This guy saw the ruthkanda post and said hold my beer

I’m old and have a lot less at stake than many people. If I get arrested, I won’t lose my pension. If I get shot, I’ll lose 10-20 years of arthritis getting worse and worse. I have no reason not to rouse a little rabble.

there's gotta be an easier way for me to get the temperature

Mr. President sir I’m sorry to report that people hate your shitty wife.

this almost killed me

feels like the breaking point

not now singularity, we’ve got a lot going on right now

it is frankly exhausting to know that a better world is possible

Billionaire dies during penis enlargement surgery Surgeons have been banned after a billionaire died during penis enlargement surgery.

Now I’ve seen everything

www.joe.co.uk/news/billion...